I started I also I got Im excited

I started to do some work for my stopmotion movie. Dad helped me make a armature for the action figure (which Im using instead of a clay figure. The action figure has a lot of joints so it should be easy to use.) so it has an eaiser time standing. Im going to try have the background be a green screen so I can easily change the scenery.

I also started to work on a collage on consumerism. This will be the first project I hand in. Im thinking of doing it as a photocopy 3D collage. Should be interesting.

I got this idea to make some noise rock music with adam and eric and Im thinking of doing that as one of my art projects.

Im excited, anxious, nervous and worried about tuesday. I hope she doesn't take me asking her to the fair the wrong way since I already asked her out last semester. It would be so cool if she did say yes (I feel like Im in high school) since she is a pretty cool person. Hopefully I won't be extra nervous since emily is in the class. Hopefully I'll be able to ask her outside of the class room.

asking on tuesday

So I talked to eric and debbie (eric because he's my best friend and debbie because she was there) and asked them if they think it would be a good idea if I asked whitney on tuesday if she wanted to go to the fair with me. They both said to go for it, so if she's there and i get enough courage im going to do it! Hopefully. I bought a photographers portfoilio (a copy I assume) for 50cents! Its big too. Got two books too. 50 cents each. I had the documentary class today. Not much else.

Im driving myself crazy!

Im driving myself crazy! WHY! I went to my pro studio art class. Whitney was there, I sort of talk to her. I don't know why I didn't go to talk to her more. Well I do know why. First thing I was really nervous and the second, emily is in the same class with me. At first it was awkward, I would briefly, unintentionly glance at her and she would look really pissed off. Half way through the class we took a break and emily and I were the only ones in the room. I broke the awkwardness and asked how her vacation was. She responded like a normal humanbeing. Which was good.

I briefly talked to whitne but I wished I talked to her more, but I was just too nervouse, espically since it was the first day of school and I felt like emily was constently staring at me. Hopefully next class I will get to talk to whitney more and maybe have some kind of actual converstaion.

I think I have a fear of not being in a relationship and being alone for the rest of my life. Its nothing serious. I don't foolishly and do stupied things. I do that because I don't think straight, but then again who does. I just really like it when Im in a relationship with someone and every time I see emily in person or read something about her in facebook (like how she's engaged) or just seeing a picture of her, hurts me and makes me want to be with someone (even if its her, but then I remind myself thats the worst idea ever and I would never do that).

The first day

Today was the first day of school. I learned about dinosaurs and nouns.

No I didn't.

Nothing exciting happened. I had stats, the teacher seems cool and we do all of our homework in class. The person sitting behind me was one of the ice cream girls at Sewards. She's cool. She was relieved that I no longer work there. After that I walked around and read until my next class, acting one. That was fun. There was this one kid that was way to eager. He was like really out there. I meet this other guy who is from rutland and he graduated from stafford, from the forestry program. That was cool. I had to do an impression of him. That was interesting. My last class was history of mass media, yeah.

After HMM I went to PEG from 3-8. It looks like i'll be working about 4 days a week. I was originally schedualled from thursday 12-5 but I have class at 2 so Im going to see if I can get out of working on thursdays completely.

Im excited for tomorrow. I have studio pro and its the class with whitney. Hopefully it will go well. I don't plan on doing anything other than just talking but, hopefully she'll be in the class and it will go swell.

School starts tomorrow!

On Thursday a woman came into PEG to drop off a video and she gave us a bowl of fortune cookies. Chris, Mike, Crystal and I had one and they were stale. The woman said that she had been collecting them. Weird.

On Friday PEG had a BBQ party. Mike V said, "So said, we only had two parties this summer."

On Saturday Ryan and I went hiking in Hubberton. The trials we went on were part of a zen garden that a local Japanese man built. It was pretty cool. Later that day Eric, Adam and I went to the theater and saw Death Race. It was pretty bad. The camera in the action scenes would not stop moving! If you though Cloverfield was bad, this was the worst! The orignal was definitly better. My dad refused to believe that since he says the original was pretty bad.

Today is Sunday. Tomorrow is Monday, the first day of school. My Senior year. I wonder what college will be like after I gradutate from high school. Wait, I'm in a senior in college. Wow, I feel so old. Just saying senior in college makes me feel ancient. It should be an interesting year, hopefully a fun one. I'll definitly will be busy with school work and PEG during the week. Hopefully I'll have an even split of time for school and time for work. I don't want to be the person that constantly works and goes to school and never has time to have fun. That would be terrible! Fun is important!

I wonder what sort of adventures I will be taking part in. I hope my last year won't be all work and no play. I hardly doubt that since even if it's work I treat it like play! I wonder if I'll get a girlfriend. Whitney maybe? I hope so, she's pretty cool. I have pro studio with her on tuesday. I found this out on friday when I went to Camielles to buy a pair of jeans and belt. She seemed quite excited about it when we found out. I found her on facebook and she's not listed as in a relationship so maybe there is a chance...

I've been working on my book pretty steadly. It's coming along nicely. I can't wait finish it! Dad started our subscription to emusic again. I found some saul williams albums and the bjork song earth intruders. Sweetness.

Not much else going on. Listening to EQX. I told Eric I want to do a noise rock project with him and adam. Maybe Matt would be intersted too. Maybe...

Watching Death Race made me want to play Interstate 76 so I tried to install it on the computer but the game is so old it's not compatible with our new computer. To bad so sad.

I guess you could say

At PEG Crystal and I had to video tape an interview that was hosted by Jack I mean Tom Haley (I kept on mixing those two names up, not good if your making the DVD). We did it at alumni field looking out from the press box. The four guys were right outside of the window so you could see the field in the background which was the focue of the interview. At first we had some audio problems which were a bit frusterating but we got them figured out. Then when we played it on the TV the audio would't play right but it played fine after we captured it. We watched it on the time line and it seems fine, just some digital drop out. Its finished.

I went to the dollar store to get some supplies for an art project and when I was getting change the chasier said, do you want a gold dollar. I said yes. It was funny. She was old and cute.

Crystal might be getting a job at the CSC library. But she still might be able to videotape the meetings. I hope it does work out that way since she said the job will be full time with benefits which is what she needs.

I guess you could say I have a crush on Becca. I've been thinking that a long distance relationship would not be a good idea, since you need the person there espically in the begining. I guess I should just see her as a friend and keep my eye, mind and heart open for other people.

When I go back to school I want to see if I can do the senior column but do it in the style of the talking pictures in the rutland herald. It would be different that talking pictures though. Instead of having pictuers of people talking it would have pictures of what Im talking about and I wouldn't use so many effects. Plain and simple.

mississippi queen

We had the cooking show with sanjukta gosh today. I tried her meal (indian food) and it was very good. She was surprised to see me and crystal working at PEG. I started to work on a industrial version of mississippi queen. I don't know why I wanted to do this, but I just started to. I recorded the vocals, made a drum track and used a sample from the actual song for the gutiar. Its quite different. It's definitly like a industrial blues song. Not much else.

updated 8-16-08

Just updated saturday's post about middlebury and becca, revisions and additions.

daydream

Sometimes I think I daydream way too much. One time while I was watching tv I was daydreaming that someone was with me. Someone that I wanted to be with. I got so involved in this day dream that when I went to the kitchen to get something to eat I grabbed a two napkinds, one for myself and the other for the person in my day dream. Weird.

Then today I went for a long walk to enjoy the nice weather while it lasts. While I was out I started to day dream. This time Becca calls me telling me that she got out of work early and was wondering if I was free to hangout. I tell her that I am free and that Im going for a walk and I ask her if she wants to join. She says that'd be cool and she could be down there in an hour. I say I could meet her in front of walmart. Then at that moment I realized how far the day dream was going and stopped it.

Is this something to be concerned with? All of this intense day dreaming. Or am I just a hopeless dreamer. I guess I just want to be with Becca badly enough that my day dreams are starting to seem real. Thats kinda scary. I need to control these day dreams, not let them run wild. It puts me in this spot were Im hoping for something that will never happen, not something that may not happen. It is possible that I Becca and I could get back together.

I just wish I knew how she felt. Does she slowly want to get back together or does she just want to stay friends and stay in touch as we go our seperate ways. We did go through about 3 years without seeing each other but that was neccessary. We had dated, broke up and spent time doing our own thing. Seeing other people doing other activities. Activites that we may have never had the chance to do wether it be good or bad if we kept a close relationship. I know Becca is going to a different school in a different state, but if you think about it if Becca dated someone from Long Island it would pretty much be the same, unless that person was from Vermont which is pretty unlikely. If she did date someone from there then they...ok ok I need to stop...this is going to far! Thinking too much! It's like Im planning the future or trying to make up her mind!

showing mike that there is more to middlebury than just Hannifords.

A little after 1 I decided to call becca. She said she would call me around 12 but its after 1 so I figured I should call her. When she answered she said she was just about to pick up the phone to call me. Weird. We said we had a psychic connection. She asked me how well I know downtown middlebury and I said, I know where hannifords is. She told me to meet her there, so at around 1:40ish I went up to middlebury.

I guess I got there a little bit earlier then she expected since she showed up 15 minutes later. When I was waiting, I was thinking is she already here and I just can't see her? Or maybe I missed heard the message she gave me and said call me at hannifords, not meet me at hannifords. So I called her and asked if she was in hannifords and she said yes, so I was really cofused, but it ended up being she just arrived when I called. When I was still waiting I thought I saw her, because it saw a skinny white female dressed in black, so I started to walk towards her and when I was about to wave and say hi I realized it wasn't her. That saved me some embaressment.

When she arrived we got in my car and headed to downtown. After we parked the car and got out she asked me if I wanted the door locked since she's not used to locking it. I said sure since Im so used to living in the dangerous city of Rutland. I told her I usually put a club on my steering wheel and sometimes even a boot on my tire.

We went to some shops, we first went to wilde tyhme mountain, I think it's called. It's some kind of hippie shop. I was there with emily one time. I got some postcards and a no W sticker. I told becca the sticker means no white people. She said that was terrible but still laughed.

Becca said we should hang out by the river after we get something to drink/since I was thristy. She asked me if I was thirsty just when I was about to tell her I wanted to get something to drink. I said she was pyschic and she said we have a mental connection. I asked her if when she goes to the river if she says "take me to the river" and when she gets there she says "down by the river" or "rolling on the river" She said "I think that exactly in that order too". We went to a deli and to get our drinks. I got a orgenia and a peanut butter cookie. Becca got a izze soda, rasberry I think. She took me to the river.

"I dont know why I do, I wanna know that you'll tell me, Take me to the river and drop me in the water"
-talking heads, "take me to the river"

We hung out 'down by the river'. "Be on my side, I'll be on your side,There is no reason for you to hide,It's so hard for me staying here all alone,When you could be taking me for a ride,You take my hand, I'll take your hand,Together we may get away"
Down by the river-Neil Young, "Down by the river"

(FYI The original meaning of the songs do not stand in this blog entry. The selection of lyrics is what matters in this entry.)

(update 8-17-08 I think I was being a bit melodramatic with these lyrics. Helpless romantic?)

The spot we hung out at was near the spot where her dad found the body of the college student that died and couldn't be found. In a way it was kinda weird. So I said "and over there the old man went down on me". She laughed. (earlier I told her the last time I went to middlebury an old man tried to make me his boyfriend) We talked movies and college. She changed her major to philosophy and minor in studio arts. She said that a major in musical theater was way to competitive. She would have been required to sing five songs in five different styles and one of the songs had to be in a different language. She wants to do an internship with her dad. She's interested in doing criminal profiling. I wasn't too surprised when she told me that, in a good way. When we were sitting there, I reminded myself to really absorb the moment because before you know it, it'll be gone. And here I am writing about it. It's gone, but still her in my memory and in this writing.

We left the river and went to a stationary store, an art store and a book store. At the art store we were looking at a door with some signs like it was a piece of art. It was fun. Then we did the same thing with a chair, but I think the chair actually was a piece for sale.

At the book store we found a book about 14,000 things to be happy about. We read through some of it adding in our own, genocide, abortions. When we were at the book store I felt like we were in a cheesy chick flick. Weird. Actually the whole time we were hanging out was like that.

Becca was looking at a van gogh calender and she said "Did I tell you Im going to amsterdam?" When she said it there was an older guy standing by her and I walked up to her and said, "Are you asking me or him?" She laughed and looked at the guy and said, "Did I tell you I'm going to amsterdam?" The guy laughed and said "Im going too!" She told me she is going and asked if I wanted a postcard. I said yes and she just needs my address.

The book store has a music selection and while I was looking through it I mentioned to becca that local music is always folk music. She said there's nothing wrong with folk music (her and her dad are in a folk band) but I just ment that I have nothing against folk music it's just sterotyping vermont.

She wanted to show me a music store that she thought I would really like since it sold old vynal and was very anit government. But when we got there it was no longer there.

At the end of the day I dropped her off at a restaurant where she was meeting her parents. She said we should stay in touch and hang out during the winter break. That would be cool. She told me she's going to amsterdam and she will send me a postcard, I just have to give her my address.

It would be really cool if we did end up dating again. We dated before, and she is the only exgf I would date again. I know she still likes me as a friend, but Im not sure how she feels about dating again, espically since she goes to school in Long Island. I wouldn't have a problem with it because Its Becca. Now Im worried that I'll meet some new girl at CSC and I won't get to date Becca. Im not sure if thats a bad thing or what.

All in all it was a fun time. I hope we get to do it again.

thick russian accient

Yesterday Sen Bernie Sanders had a public meeting with Comcast, relating on the disapearing channels but the price remaining the same. I got to videotape it for PEG. It was quite fun. When I was there waiting Channel 3 News came. I had to tell him that he was plugging his audio cable for his camera into our audio input box. Then he placed a mic for bernie but he put it at the wrong place. The little guy knew more! When I was shooting, Channel 5 for NBC (local news) was to my right, cassandra holting (sorry if its misspelled) from the rutland herald and fox 44 to my left. It was pretty crowded. But it was fun. The crowd was definitly energtic, so was bernie. He's definitly a good politician.

I was at work today. A woman with a thick russian accient came in and tried to sell me fake jewlery. She said it was for a fundraiser. Seemed suspicious to me. So I told her that the executive director wasn't in and he would be the one to talk too and we were pretty busy now. She left.

At around 12:45 Becca called. She said sorry for not repsonding and she couldn't hang out today because she had to work. But she wants to hang out on saturday. Yey. She gets out of work at 12, she'll call me then.

black bob

I went hiking at ascutney today. I got some good pics. It was fun but it made me late for work. Only by like 10 minutes. No one really noticed or cared. They've been having some problems with their control room switcher. Dad it might have to do with the firewall. IDK. So today was another 3-8 shift of nothing! I won't complain though. I like my job. Im not so sure if Im hanging out with becca friday. I hope we do, it would be fun. I saw a black bob gershon, melvin van pebbles. I saw a movie about sweet sweetbacks badassssss song. It was really good.

spam

to tired to write much. I unknownly spammed a ton of peeps of facebook. So I apologized to everyone. There was a lot. I can't do the sunset race tomorrow because I have to work. Oh well.

FAWK

I just found out the NIN concert was postponed until Novemeber 9th. WHY! did Trent have to get sick! Well at least it didn't get canceled completely. Hopefully Ryan and I will still be able to go. Hopefully. I got so excited for this, I couldn't fall asleep because of it, and now this. I was counting down the hours! Sheet Fawk. Im not in the greatest of moods right now. FAWK! I hope trent gets better soon so he doesn't have to cancel any more dates.

Public Access

Crystal and I have agreed to make a tv series on what it's like to work at a public access station. It's going to be a comedy so it won't be that accurate to what it's like to work there. But it should be fun. I think we decided on this on, Tuesday the fifth. We have two and a half scritps written and I think they are pretty good. Eric is on board too. The show will have the atmospher of The Office and the humour of Scrubs. It should be alot of fun.

I talked to Mike Val today about a soap opera show that he shot befor I started to work at PEG. I guess he only shoot a couple episdoes because he was then hired at PEG. When he started to talk about it, he sat down like he had a long tale to tell.

NIN tomorrow!

Havn't heard from becca about hanging out again. Maybe I'll send her a message to see if she's doing anything next weekend.

Tomorrow I have to bring my car to the garge because the break fluid is empty and my dad said there must be a leak. Hopefully it won't be anything too coastly.

me go eat now

Today was a long day at PEG. 9 1/2 hrs. There was an aldermen meeting and I had to stay at the studio to flip the switch and push the buttons. Of course something goes wrong. I was supposed to broadcast the meeting on channel 20 and 21 but when i try 21 it doesn't work. But luckly mike Val was able to fix it from home. Caleb first noticed what was wrong, I did not realize it. I don't feel like typing much because Im hungry. I got an email from logo about my movie. I almost forgot I told them about it. So im going to mail them a copy as soon as I can. I all ready have a copy made so it should be easy. me go eat now.

Taiko

Rutland had its ethnic festival today. I didn't see what was so ethnic about it expect for the Taiko drummers, which I videotaped for PEG. I figured it would be a good event to show since they are pretty good. This time the audio came out pretty good. Yey. While I was taping I was wishing I had eric on a 2nd camera but it came out good. I asked permission from the drummers before I did anything and they asked for a copy, so Im going to give them an unedited version and an edited version. Im edited it down since I want it to be 30 minutes. So far it's coming out pretty good.

Yesterday sound barrier had a tent at the sidewalk sales. I got four cds, two tshirts and shorts for $11! Now thats a savings! I got a patti smith, tom morello, beck ep and an anti flag cd. One of the shirts I got is for the ministry album filth pig.

I listened to the patti smith cd and I like it. They are all cover songs but they sound like patti smith songs. The anit flag cd I got is pretty good too, except my cd player kept on skipping. All of the cds are good!

facebook stalker

Well well well. I had my get together withh becca today. It was fun. I was quite excited for it all day. Well ever since I heard we were getting together. Becca said she didn't realize that we say batman begins the last time we saw each other. We both thought that was quite funny. I got her to chuckle about pointing out that the mayor (in dark knight) was wearing eye shawdow and he got to be the mayor with jazz hands. After the movie in the lobby we saw andrew, her xbf. That was weird, espically since he said he knew we were here. I asked him if he was facebook stalking us and he said he was! That's pretty weird, if you ask me. I gave becca my cell and home number but I didn't write it on her wall. I don't feel like andrew having my number. He looked kinda weird too. Long hair, scruffy beard. I think it's safe to say that becca did enjoy her time too. She said she wants to get together again but with more talking. yey. I sent her a message on facebook saying I had fun and we should get together again, but with more talking. i wanted to give becca my cd and the hostiles cd but I forgot. Oh well. hopefully we will get together again.