The end, for here

This blog is being discontinued please go to: http://flumer.wordpress.com/

thank you

weird calculator

So my dad bought this small calculator for 99 cents and I can't figure out how to turn it off. There's no off button on this calculator! So It's just sitting there, turned on. I'm hoping it will automatically turn off.

this so called obscene movie

I don't get it. There's a Swedish film called I am curious Yellow/Blue. Back when it was made in 1968 it was banned in Massachusetts for being obscene and pornographic. Now in this modern day the children's cartoon Ed, Edd and Eddy named one of their episodes I am curious Ed. How could a movie which is considered to be obscene be the inspiration for a children's show! I wonder what that episode is like. Does Ed kiss his lover's flaccid penis? I hope not. That would be just too weird. I found this movie (it's actually two separate movies, Yellow is part 1 and Blue is part 2) at the Rutland Free Library. Yellow, the first part was (to my surprise) taken out so I will have to wait till next week to take and it and watch this so called obscene movie.

The Religious Identity Test

The Religious Identity Test
Your Result: Somewhat humanistic, with some supernaturalism


You have a generally humanistic outlook, though you tend to be open to some ideas that would be considered supernaturalistic. Hence, you probably reject most of the dogma and creed of traditional religion, and you probably consider most organized religions outdated in today's world. You value reason, but an attachment to supernaturalism lingers in you. Describing yourself as Christian would not be accurate, as your general outlook is more humanistic than Christian.

Pretty accurate I'd say.

Not much

Not too much going on. The movie LOL arrived today. Just finished watching it. It was pretty good. Very true. People are addicted to technology like internet and email and cell phones and chatting. Such a different world we live in compared to 10-15 years ago.
I found some new sounds for my drum machine. They're pretty cool.
Listening to MGMT right now.
Andy myself and Will performed the scene from Hamlet (modernized version). It came out pretty good. Except Eugene was supposed to be there but wasn't. So Will took his place. This is the second time too. Hopefully he'll start showing up. I'm thinking of making some music with samples from old blues songs caughmobycaugh.
I need to add some potential scene ideas I have for my movie.

my meeting

I had my meeting with the actors today. It was pretty good. A bit of a late start but all is well. I gave them their character descriptions even though they will be playing themselves. Kristen seemed to be a bit intimidated by the improvisation. Hopefully she's not. I told them that they just need to be themselves and act as they would if it was a really situation. Now I just need to get their costumes, and set up my sisters room as an apartment. I just talked to Eric S and he said there are drug dealers who can sell medicine.

I went to the poetry group meeting. I thought it was going to be a reading but it was a meeting for the group. It was still good though.

I've been trying to get Brianna a loaf a bread that I got at the winters farmers market but every time I go to her place she's not home. I'm going to try again at 8 tonight.

That's about all of the exciting news for now.

It's official that I will be meeting with my actors on Sunday at Noon. The bad news is I'll be late for the poetry reading which is at 1pm. But that's ok if I'm late. I think I'll email the poetry ring leader and let her know. This meeting with my actors is definitely more important.

My stats teacher said after our final quiz on I believe December 5th he will let us know if we are exzempt from the final exam. I really hope I will be, cause I know I will not do too hot and I just need to pass.

That's about all of the exciting news for now.

why do people say jesus h christ? is the h part of middle name? i didn't know he had one

my second actor signed on

I got my second actor signed on for my video project. I just sent out an email to the two actors telling them that I would like to meet with them to go over the details of the project. I'm really hoping that they stick with the project, that would suck so much if one or both dropped out half way through or when we are almost finished shooting. I know ken is pretty dedicated, I'm hoping kristen is. She seems to be. I just realized both of their first names start with a k. Weird.

Bob talked to me today about my project and told me about a filmmaker who is similar to what I'm trying to do, with the improvisation. I forgot the name and he didn't have a copy of his work. Hopefully he'll be able to find it. It sounded really interesting. Bob also told me about a student who is interested in working with someone on a senior project and bob mentioned joe, eric and me. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to him and get him on board! I just need his email.

Emily just IM'ed me, I thought it was my sister, I have no idea why though! Funny.

I'm going to change the gas station location to a restaurant. I figured it would be easier since I know the owners of Sewards and it would be more visually interesting to have Kristen be a waitress.

not much

Today I was busy but nothing to exciting happened. I videotaped a Rutland School Board meeting. They gave me cheese cake, it was a board members birthday. I'm at the moment talking to Emily. We are going to hang out some time soon. She said that even though she has a boyfriend I'm the only person she has fun with. So proposed that we have some fun together, and by that we should watch her favorite movie Elizabeth Town, get cheesy mac and bagels with cream cheese. I'm working on her project with her tomorrow, that should be fun. I'm going to go see the new CSC play on Friday. In my acting class today we did some guerrilla advertising. We basically just went up to people and told them they should go to the play. I should do that for my senior project. Gotta go!

Now I'm Excited

I brought my change collection (which has been adding up for the past year) to coin star today. I had $190.59! Isn't that awesome! Not only that but since I had more than $40 coin star gave me an extra $10. So I really have like $200, which I'm going to spend at amazon. Sweetness sweetness! I'll be able to get the John Cassevetes Criterion Collection. My dad asked for a book, so I'll get him that. I think I'll get my mom and sister something too. Don't want be greedy. In my art class my teacher wanted to talk to me after class. Of course I thought it was going to be something bad, but it encouraged me to work on my collages. He said that he's anxious to see more of my work. Now I'm excited to make more! I was talking with Emily today and I'm going to help her with her education project. Its a video about her paintings. Should be fun. We are starting on Thursday.

NIN the aftermath

The NIN show was the best concert I have ever been to. The light show was amazing, with huge LED screens. Just awesome. And Trent was pretty cool, running around, full of energy, sending me that energy through his singing and music, the bass notes thumbed though me making my whole body vibrate. He had a special guest, as a treat since he postponed the first concert. Peter Murphy from the band Bauhaus. He sang Reptile with Trent. It was a duet. Hehe. The show seemed like a dream. It went by so fast that before I knew it we were driving back home. It's crazy. Hopefully they'll put out a live DVD. That'd be sweet. I have my pictures as well. Ah the memories.

I've decided that I'm going to use my change collection to buy the John Cassavetes 8 disc set. Every where I go and everyone I talk to, they all say we makes really good movies and the bonus features look pretty good.

Still working on the script. Still need a name. I'm thinking about shooting it in chronological order and not give the actors a complete script, but feed them the scenes as we do them. That way they'll be going through the experiences with the characters.

NIN

Tomorrow is the big day! NIN concert! 15 1/2 more hours till we leave! I made mix CD that goes from NIN's first cd to the slip. It was an interesting ride.

I made the dvd for the noise rock project. I did some more work on the script for my senior project. I read about a filmmaker named Mike Leigh. He shots his films with the actors improving and he shoots them in chronological order. I think I would like to shoot my video in chronological it would definitely be interesting.

young cassavetes

Wow, its been more than a week since I’ve updated. My bad.

Tuesday was an exciting day. It was election day and I worked at PEG for about 11hrs. My first job was to go to all the polls in the city with my coworker and get some interviews. We got two interviews from politicians and they both ended up losing. And I voted for them too! The video we made came out pretty good. The election coverage that PEG did ran from 7pm-11:30 and they showed our 5min video at around 8pm. It was fun 11 hours. Definitely not like a 11hr Sewards shift. That would not be fun. My job during the election was to communicate via aim with the Burlington access station since they were providing an internet video stream to all of the access station across the state. I was also in communication with the hosts in the studio. Through out the night we had some politicians and the editor of the newspaper come in for an interview. During the shoot, Tom and I swore we saw some sort of weird disturbance on the tv screen. We have yet look at the footage. I’ll have to do that soon. We think it was a ghost.

Wednesday I had a Mill River school board meeting. And I acted my monologue. It came out a lot better than I thought it would. I think the class enjoyed it. At least I hope they did.

Thursday I brought my car to Honda because for the past week it was having trouble starting, but of course on that day it starts working properly and the service crew could not find any problems with it either. I talked to my advisor about my classes for next semester and about my senior project. I told him I want to do an improvisational narrative. First he looked at me weirdly but I explained how I plan on doing it and he called me a young cassavetes. Now I have to order that 8 disc John Cassavetes collection. I found it on Amazon for like $70, not bad compared to $120-original price. So now I’m really pumped for my project! Emily and I have been talking regularly and she’s been telling me about some troubles she’s been having with her BF. She seemed pretty sad so I found this little card thingy (as she called it) and gave it to her on Thursday. She said she liked it. Which was what I was hoping for. I went and saw a rehearsal of the CSC production of Can’t Take It With You. It was pretty good.

Friday, today, since I did not have a car on Thursday my dad brought me to school and I stayed overnight in Eric’s dorm room and my mum picked me up today at 10:30ish. I thought I didn’t have acting class because we had to go see a play rehearsal but Corey
(he chews, eww) told me we do. Oh well. He said he would tell the teacher what happened. Hopefully he remembered. When I came to work it started off not too good. First Tom told me I forgot to set up the kitchen for a the Thursday shoot, which was right. I completely blanked. Then Mike told me I shouldn’t have left him a note telling him I was taking days off with my extra time. I guess I though that was ok to do since that’s what we did at sewards but of course PEG is much different. The city library had a book sale today. Got some good books, a vinyl for dad and what look like a really bad movie. Cool. Emily asked me if I could help her with a video project. Something to do with her education class. Haven’t gotten any details yet.

NIN Sunday! 2 more days!

mulatto

splatombie: appartenly mulatto is a racist word
Ewk30: lol
splatombie: and i thought it was a cookie!
Ewk30: lol
Ewk30: me too
splatombie: i was thinking of a name for the music we made on sunday, since it will not be black saw, instead i thought of....Dead Space
Ewk30: thats the name of a movie and video game
Ewk30: that recently came out
splatombie: cool
splatombie: i got the idea from a dvd from jerry munger and on the case was a vhs sticker that said DEAD SPACE
Ewk30: I see

I havn't wanted to record music so bad, even though i just did this past weekend!

I havn't wanted to record music so bad, even though i just did this past weekend! I have such visions! I like having eric on keyboard, with the drum machine and playing the synth and me on a lite distorted guitar. I think It would sound quite nice. Quite excited to start editing the video im working on now. I captured all of the DV tape footage today. Good video not so good audio, but the VHS footage, as far as i remember has pretty good audio and video, so I'll probably use the audio from the vhs. On thursday im going to convert the vhs footage to mini dv, there's a vhs/dv deck at school in the communications lounge.

Eric and I are talking about perfroming the music at open mic night and or have our own show.

The recording session

The recording session on Sunday was pretty successfull and a lot of fun. We recorded all of the songs and got VHS/DV footage so we pretty much did everything I wanted to. The cassette audio didn't come out as good as I was hoping (as of now, havn't listened to it all yet) but i listened to one song the the DV camera recorded and didn't sound too bad. Should be interesting what the VHS audio sounds like. It's probably blownout. One thing I learned is that the cassette mic needs to be a lot further back, like 5-8 feet if not more. The DV mic was about 8-10 feet away and got good audio and the cassette was like 2 feet away and was pretty noisy. On Sunday for the exception of two songs I was on keyboard/vox and eric was on guitar, after words Eric and I both agree that he should be on keyboard and I on vox/gutiar. I felt so much energy when I was on the guitar which I think helped with my singing. Over all I think it will be a good project and next time (hopefully there will be) it will be even bettter. You should have been there Matt! I needed a vocal coach!

13 more days till NIN!

gave me a weird look

Today I was supposed to go to the great escape but nope too many people had to bail out and the weather had to be too crappy. Rain and wind all day. Oh well. Instead I went over to CSC and hung out with eric. He showed me some songs he made, we watched phantasm 2, it was a lot better than the first one. I asked Joe if he would be intereste in doing camera for the recordings. He said maybe. It would be cool if he could so then, Justin would do keyboard and I would do just vocals, but I'm not going to plan on it. Anyways, Justin gave me a weird look when I told him I was going to put him on keyboard.

When I got home I started to prepare things for the recording tomorrow. I put new strings and tuned them on my guitar. At first I didn't tune them right and it was all messed up, until my dad pointed it out to me. I was going to do guitar and vocals but doing both at the same time is too hard. So instead I'm going to have eric on guitar, me on keyboard and vocals and justin on camera. It's so exciting that I'm going to be shooting on vhs!

I tested out the camera and changed the on screen date to 2093, figured that would help :) I also saw I can take that off completely.

So hopefully tomorrow will be a good day of music and video recording. When I pick up Justin Im going to play the rare and unreleased white zombie cd, so he gets an idea of what im going for.

The assisstant principle of Rutland Town School has the monitor!

college pays off!

Well I lost a monitor from work, I left it at rutland town school when i videotaped the meeting on monday and when I went there today it wasn't in the library and no one was there except for the janitor and him and I couldn't find it so hopefully when I go there tomorrow morning someone will be at the office knows where it is.

Listening to Alice Coopers newest cd. Pretty good.

Hopefully I'll be able to record my music this weekend, sunday. Im going to try and see if I can record in the studio art room, if not then the tv studio. And hopefully the weather will be good on saturday for the trip to the great escape! Ticket paid for too! CSC paid for it, see college pays off!

natural imperfections

So I got really good feed back on my 8ft tall collage today in my art class. They had some interesting ideas about it too, repenting, doing bad things. They thought it was even more interesting that I made it as "stream of conscience" piece and had very little prescript plans. The teacher even wanted to talk to me about it after class. That was pretty cool. When he told me he wanted to talk to me after class I thought my collage could be considered offensive. I don't know why I thought that since we are in collage and everyone in that class is pretty mature. Maybe I should do more 8ft tall collages. My teacher said I take the imprefections that the collage and cardboard has to offer and I embrace them instead of trying to hide them. Which is definitly true about my art because thats how I like to make art, with its natural imperfections. Kind of like the noise music Im making now.

I made it up!

Not much happened at school. At work I had to shoot a studio show, all by myself. That was fun...Later on I helped mike continue the set up for the hockey rink up at the mall. He brought a modulator that worked this time, I guess last time it wasn't working. We successfully got a video signal. We just have to fine tune it, some other time. It was cold there too. I wonder why. When we got back I played the name that tv theme song with Crystal and I completely made up a theme and she was like it sounds so familiar. She said, give me a hint! So I said, It has that old man and that boy. Shes like, oh its denince the menance! Then I said, no I made it up! It was fun.

At home Dad's co worker Kevin came by for a quick visit. We played some gutiars. He has a lot of energy.

I was thinking if we can't get the old chaple to record the noise rock then Im going to ask bob if we can use the tv studio.

NIN in 26 days!

Not much going on. Got a picture from my sister with her prego belly, she looks cute. I'm going to go watch Blindness tonight, hopefully. Going with Ryan as soon as he gets out of class. Movie is at 9:30, its 9 right now. Im working on a 8 foot tall collage. It's coming out pretty good. NIN in 26 days! Eric, Adam and I were talking about going to the Rock and Shock convention next year and stay for the night so we can go to the concert. It'd be fun. Im going to start saving up now, $5 a week for a year= $240. Yep.

wouldn't it be funny

Last night after the poetry reading I decided to go to the art hop in downtown Rutland. I thought that wouldn't it be funny if I saw Sarah at the art hop. Well, I did! I even saw her where I imagined seeing her! It was pretty funny. At first I didn't quite recognize her but then I realized who it was. We said our hellos, talked a bit about the whole art hop thing and then went our separete ways.

I went to the Brick Box and checked out the exhibite there, Sarah told me there was one there. It was a very aquatic exhibite, acrilyc, paper machie. When I left I saw her again in front of a framing store looking in the window. I asked her if she saw anything interesting. She said she heard a guy singing galic. I said, Is this the vacuuming show (there was a women vacuuming a rug in the store and that was it). She said, yeah she actually perfected a form of vacuuming. I was like, really? I of course believed her. She laughed and said no while hitting me on the arm (which actually hurt, well not really) She asked me if I have ever heard of a women, I can't remember her name but she owns an antiques store. I said no, she was surprised so she brought me to the store. First we went to book king, she needed a card for a friend.

So we went to the antiques dealer and I told her I was afriad to walk, there was so much china and breakable things. I felt like a bull in a china store. After she bought a brass or copper minature dog, it looked like a dachshund but she was calling it a beagle, for the sake of her grandmother.

We left the store, she said she was going back to her car and I said I was going to walk home, we said our goodbyes. Hopefully I'll get to see her again. She's a nice person. Maybe she'll go to the next poetry reading. She said she might try to write, that would be cool if she did.

whatever you know what I mean

I just got home from a poetry reading, interesting stuff. I read some of my material too. It was down at Cafe Terra, my favorite cafe...well the only cafe in rutland. It was a poetry group that put on the show. A group called birchdale poets. They gave me a little wooden tree, since I guess Im now part of their group. I met a girl there, she's from castleton, but didn't go to CSC. She was pretty nice. Hopefully she'll come back to their next reading. Chris Laro from Laro's Leaders fame, was there, he's part of the group. He's a pretty cool guy. I'm surprised he didn't recgonized me. I want to work on some new material. It'll fun. They're having another reading before the holidays. Hopefully I'll be able to go. If its on thurday I'll be able to go for second hour.

I like writing poems but like what matt and I talked about, it sounds too...ugh, I can't remember that word. It means you act like your smarter than you actualy are. I can't remember it! Well whatever you know what I mean.

Not too much today

Not too much today. Went to work, had dinner with debbie at back home cafe. I had lasegna, green beans, salad, bread. It was really good. I wanted to ask them what kind of cheese they used but I forgot. I talked to Eric about setting up a time to record in the old chapel. I was relistening to the songs Matt and I recorded and they aren't as bad as I thought they were. But I still want to try to make them better. No distortion on drums. One or two of the songs I want to have no guitar. Just distorted drums/ Keyboard. I downloaded the Crystal Castles album. It's pretty good.

Damn you distortion, I love you oh so much.

Matt came over to start recording for the noise rock project. It went fairly well. We recorded all of the songs that I had written and it was alot of fun. Matt was on guitar and I was on keyboard/vocals. I never knew Matt was so good at guitar. I was quite impressed. The bad news is that when I uploaded the songs on my computer most of them were a bit too loud. I think thats because the drums and guitar were both distrorted. But I learned that the songs can come out good. Damn you distortion, I love you oh so much.

Matt also coached me on my singing. I feel by the end of our recording session I got a lot better and was more comfortable to sing in front of him. He tried to get me to scream, I tried like I've tried before but I think I'm unable to. I just don't have it in me.

I got some good between track sound bits too. I'm listening to rare white zombie. My inspiration!

Im hoping maybe next weekend eric adam and I can get together and record at the old chapel and perfect my noise rock. Today the noise rock was a bit too noisey.

debate

I had to help Eric shoot a Lt Governor debate which I didn't find out until around 12:40 and I was already at CSC so I had to take out equipment and not use my own. I would rather use my own because, I just trust on my stuff more and know I can rely on it since 100 people havn't been using it. I had to use the on camera mic (which wasn't to bad) since the mic input wasn't working. When I was shooting I get on hitting the off switch which wasn't placed very well. The camera I got to use was the first DV camera CSC got. So it was pretty old. Hopefully the footage came out good.

After that debate Eric and I went to the CSC pub night and watched the vice presidential debate. We saw Nate there as well. That was funny because last week The three of us missed the presidential debate because we went to the one man show and now this week the three of us watched the vice presidential debate, and we didn't even plan it.

It was fun. They had pizza and I had a plastic cup of wine, yummy. Chardinia (probably spelt wrong).

I bought a handheld mic for the noise rock recordings. This sunday! Hopefully!

work things out

Kaite isn't completely ignoring me. I gave her the Tom Morello cd and she interacted with me. It's just so weird that one day we're like best friends then the next we barely know each other.

I did my monolgue today! yey. I was pretty good. I think I conveyed some good emotion. The teacher said my talking improved. I think my mouth was just dry last time. I wasn't as nervous either, although I was on the verge of crying.

Tuesday night emily told me online she would like to see my animation since she missed class (she was sick). So I met up with her in front of Castleton Hall and gave her the DVD. She said she would watch it and tell me what she thinks tomorrow.

I guess her and John are fighting. Hopefully they can work things out. Arguing is never good.

Ryan and I went to Taco Bell, Wednesday night and we got free apple pies. One of the employees asked us to take a survey on the service and if we did it he would give us free apple pies.

it was weird

I didn't get to do my monologue, I was to nervous! Before class like three students told me how I did such a good job and that made my feel kind of uncomfortable, since they were praising me and almost everyone else barely had their's memorized. When acting class got over I got my stuff and when I went over to katie (we usually walk out together and talk) she walked away with one of the girls from class and the girl turned around saw me, turned back and almost seemed like they started to walk faster. Then they out out the back door. I usually go out the front door. Katie didn't say by or nothing, it was weird. For the rest of the day that kept my brain busy. Now Im hoping I'll be albe to talk to Katie tonight. If not I want to send her a facebook message to see if she wants to practice our monologue's together, tomorrow night.

You never know...

Kaite and I went to ramuntos for lunch then walked around Rutland. It was fun. I was talking to her a few minutes ago and she told me that Im a really good friend so I told her how I felt about her and she told me that she just wanted to be friends. She asked me if I was cool with that and I was like, of course. Thats cool with me. She's a really good friend to have anyways. Always fun to be with. I would still would want to date her. She's that cool! You never know...

Yeah and then stuff happened.

Yesterday was a very busy day. As soon as I got out of acting at 12 I had to go to the college of Saint Joesph for a video shoot for PEG. That consisted of standing for an hour. We went back to PEG after it was done and I edited the video, having to raise the brightness and contrast every time there was a shot of the speaker because it was so dark. The only light there was from a laptop! After work I went to another video shoot, this was with Eric. We had to videotape the One man performance on campus. It was pretty good. Hopefully the finally product will be just as good.

In acting class we practiced doing our monologues and I was kind of surprised that I was pretty much the only one who had it completely memorized. I was so nervous it was crazy. I almost started shaking! I think the reason for my nervousness is because I had it memorized and I didn't want to mess up and I could connect the monologue with my sister since the monologue is about someone's sister losing her babies while she was pregnant and my sister is pregnant. But it went well. The teacher was impressed so I'm happy. I guess I didn't pronunciate my words clearly. I think that was because my mouth was dry.

At the one man reading show I was hoping Katie would come because I mentioned to her that she should come to it and that I was videotaping it. At first she wasn't showing up but then after the show was done and I was walking to the back I saw her sitting.

After the show Eric, Katie, Nate and I chatted about stuff. It was fun.

I spent the night at Eric's, intoxicated, accidentally.

saturday

Katie Imed me and said she went to see a speaker about rape and she does she doesn't think I would do that but she would feel uncomfortable about goign to a isolated place like the woods with me since we meet last week. Which I compeletly understand. I felt bad since I didn't think that through. But she knows I understand and we are still getting together. We are going to get some pizza. yey. At first when I was reading her message I thought she was going to say she didn't want to see me at all. Im glad thats not what it said.

You know what's funny? When I was leaving from work I passed a pizza place and I thought, if Katie and I don't go hiking we should go out for pizza. And we are, which is funny because I asked her if she would like to go out for lunch and to choose the place so she asked me if I knew of any pizza places.

My classmate Nate and I finished our doc project just in time for class. It came out pretty good. We just have to tie some lose ends and make a dvd for dave blow. Which brings me to what emily did today. She wanted me to meet someone, who ended up being nate. lol. We didn't meet in person just online. It would have been hilarious if we did.

its a long entry, but not as long as Matt's! jk

Acting class was pretty fun today. We went outside and first we played the statue game, but this time we had to move as a group from the side door of the FAC to Leavenworth (probably spelt wrong) Hall. Then from there to the Coffee Cottage we had to have both hands on two different people and move as a group. From there to the campus center we had to run in slow motion. People who were walking by were staring at us probably thinking, what the? When we got to the campus center we went into Fire Side and had to agrue with each other. One of the employees got made at our teacher since we were creating such a ruckus. On our way back from there we had to meet and greet as many people we could. It was a lot of fun. She postponed the final date for the monolgues to monday which is good, but I was ready to finish mine! I think I was the only one too.

After class I showed Katie my new car, she liked it, then we went to her dorm room. It's the same sweet as Beckys! Isn't that weird. So she showed me some of her art work, it was pretty good too. She showed me this little video she made, it was funny and cute. I showed her failblog.com. She thought it was pretty funny. While we were waiting for one of the videos to load she showed me her acustic guitar. She wanted me to play something, but I was so nervous I didn't know what to do! I messed up on like two songs. Then when she played she was pretty good. She played a song that she made, its was pretty good.

At around 1:25ish we went to lunch and I had to pay but we were at the wrong cash register but the lunch lady let me go in without paying. Free lunch! I felt like I hadn't been in there for a really long time. We finished lunch (they didn't have the big salad bowels!) I walked Katie to her class and I went to class.

After that you know the rest....(well you actually don't)

So after work I got home and my told me Chittenden denied my loan. Weird. Dad said don't worry about. If it doesn't work for some reason my dad will pay it off and I'll pay him back.

very good

I had my sexual confusion piece critiqued today and it went very well. In class we are supposed to write about a piece, no one wrote about mine, but the discussion of it was very good. People got what I was trying to put across and how I was feeling exactly. I was quite pleased to hear that.

Right now I'm talking to katie and we are planning a hiking trip on saturday. :) Should be fun since she's never been hiking before. We are going to the zen garden in hubberton, it's got some trails. Ryan and I went there one time.

I need to practice my monologue. I have a history of mass media quiz tomorrow! good thing I didn't study. yuk yuk.

Sunday

Sunday went pretty well. The play was good and I had a fun time with Kaite. We didn't hang out afterwords, she had homework to do. We got to talk some before the play started, during intermission and afterwords. We found out that we have a lot in common. Its crazy. We even have the same bump on our finger because oh how we write! We both like runnning, photography, doing artsy stuff (she wants to see some stuff I did) and she's never gone hiking so Im going to ask her if she's wants to go hiking on saturday. She's a pretty cool person.

Today I got my new car! yey. It's nice. It's quite modern. It has a cd player! It has heat!

monologe

I found out today I have to do a monologe for acting. Im glad its not a shakespeare monologe. The monologe is someone's personal story. It's kinda long. I need to stop complaining. I'll do my best and give it my best shot. The monologe is about someone's sister who was pregnant and she lost the babies due to a car accident.

I finally got to start downloading from my 20 saved albums on emusic. Im listening to skinned teeth now. It's pretty cool. Really short songs.

Im excited for Sunday. Going to the play with Kaite. I want o ask her if she wants to hang out afterwords. Hopefully she will.

Listening to Vampire Weekend now.

Monday, I get my new car! 2003 Honda Civic LX!

another fun day

I had another fun day at acting class. I got to perform the scene I was in with Katie, that's her name. She told me but then after class I forgot what it was! But I was talking to corey (a student in the class) and he said her name is katie. Thank god he told me. Im so bad with names. But anywho, The scene came out pretty good. The teacher just told us to slow it down some and to establish the location of the scene more. We played the statue game again and it came out really good, better. After class I walked and talked with Katie. She tried to help me find my sunglasses by opening the bathroom doors. That was interesting. I found them in the library. I told her I got my ticket for the show on sunday, she seemed happy.

When I saw her again later on, while I was talking with corey, she waved and smiled at me in a way that told me she does like me. Cool cool. The only thing Im worried about, since I have to worry about something! Is that she's from Ticonderoga NY and that's about a hour away, but Im not to worried about it. I'm sure it'll be fine.

It's offical that Im going to do an art project base on my sexuality confusion. It should be interesting. Hopefully not embarrasing, but interesting.

acting class

At acting class I got paired up with this girl to do a scene and we got along pretty well. We were also paired up to give each other a back message. When class got over I went to my bag to get my stuffac together and she said see ya later to me. She left the room but I was able to catch up with her just outside of the fine art center and I told her I was stalking her (all the ladies love it when you say that).

So we were walking and talking, I was on my way to lunch and she was prob going to lunch to, but I wasn't going to Huden. The converstaion resulted in me planning to go to a theater show with her on sunday. We are required to go to the show for the class, so I asked her if she was going and she told me when so I asked her if she wanted to go with me and she said yes. Apparently I look younger than what I actually am. Never heard that before :) I'll have to ask her how old she thought I was.

The interesting thing is, you know how I was all nervous about asking whitney? well with this other girl it seemed like nothing all to ask her to the show. I think it's my subconscience telling me what is good and what is bad. I think thats the reason why i was so forgetfull with emily. My brain was telling me she wasn't the right one. Hopefully someting good will come out of this.

Nissian to Honda

So when I called Honda and told them I'm going to pass on the Nissian I felt like I was breaking up with my girlfriend (not that I have one). He said to me, was it something that I did? Nissians are good cars too. I told him I did some research and saw Nissians are not that reliable and I want to be looking at a Honda Civic. He said, well the first car we looked at was a Honda Civic but you passed on. Im like, Im thinking yeah because I didn't know what to look for! I was still learning, and Im still learning now. So Im going back on Thursday. I can't wait for this to be over.

nissian sentra

I went to honda today and I thought I found a good car but it ended being a crap car. I founda nissian sentra. After some research they are not very reliable. I found out that a honda civic is like one of the most reliable cars. I had to put $500down so no one else would be able to touch the car but know i have to get the money back. So I think I will stick with getting a honda civic. Those seem to be pretty good.

Don't Complain; don't explain.

Don't Complain; don't explain. The stage is set for a drama queen (or king) to oppose any proposition. Negotiating skills are not at their best and you might be sweet talked into an unproductive change.

That is today's horoscope. weird! This is the way I see it.

Don't Complain; don't explain.: This is telling me that Im over analyzing things too much which is what I said yesterday.

The stage is set for a drama queen (or king) to oppose any proposition.: This is telling me that whitney will most likley tell me no if I asked her out.

Negotiating skills are not at their best and you might be sweet talked into an unproductive change.: This is just about the same, where I try to get her to be with me but it just won't work.

Well I just got done talking to both jen and emily at the same time! That was interesting. Emily was definitly way more mature than jen. It looks like emily still wants to be friends. Which is cool with me. She didn't say she did but thats what I got from the conversation. Jen was just being awkward.

Im going to Honda tomorrow to talk about financing. Wish me luck!

like Im destined

I seems like Im destined not to ask her. Everytime I get an oprotunity I don't realize it until its too late or i don't know what to do. Today was something like that plus I wasn't feeling very good vibes from her. Not bad vibes just no energy being projected from her to me. I got better vibes from the gay guy next to me. Oprotunity? haha. IDK. Life is confusing. I think I over analyse things too much too. Its early in the semester I think im rushing this too.

I went to cafe terra and when I first got there the girl that works there, who is about my age didn't seem like she was in a good mood. But we got to talking and joking around and by the time I left she was smiling and laughing. Maybe I spread some happiness to her.

One Hundredth Post! again

This is the One Hundredth Post! Honestly. Blogger is weird. on my dashboard it said 100 posts but on the blog it's self it said 99. I added up the posts and it came out to 99. So this is the One Hundredth Post! I would just like to thank everyone...uh matt, and myself for making it to the One Hundredth Post! It could not have done it with out you guys (matt)! It's just so fantasitic to be typing the One Hundredth Post! So here it is, the rest of the One Hundredth Post!

Not much today. Finished my collage. Just finished shooting the pizza process video. Edit it tomorrow. I have to feed the Blanchards dog tomorrow.

This school year has been going strangly. It doesn't really feel like school. Maybe because I like my job and 3 out of 2 classes.

So matt from honda called today. He just wanted to let me know about the status of the two cars we looked at and some more cars came in. He told me I could finance the car through Honda. I told him I would like to look at what the bank has to offer with loans before I say yes. It's exciting. Im a getting a new/used car.

One Hundredth Post!

This is the One Hundredth Post! I would just like to thank everyone...uh matt, and myself for making it to the One Hundredth Post! It could not have done it with out you guys (matt)! It's just so fantasitic to be typing the One Hundredth Post! So here it is, the rest of the One Hundredth Post!

Today's horoscope is alot like yesterdays. It's not as exact but its pretty damn close.
There's no need to be a moody loner. Those you care about are uncomfortable doing some things all on their own. Be a good sport and join that special someone on a trip to the store or the movies.

All these signs are coming to me that I just have to ask her. Especially if I think she might say no. I don't know what she'll say. All I can do is try and Im going to on Tuesday. I know I've said that before but gosh darn it, Im doing it.

Horoscope

Well I was going to ask Whitney today at camilles if she wanted to do something but she was not there. So I HAVE TO ASK HER ON TUESDAY! No backing out this time! Especially since this is what my horoscope said today, "Ask for advice or get the green light from a significant other before you start something signifcance. Find an excuse for communication. A special someone is ready, willing and able to make amends"

Ain't that something? Eric is the one who gave me the green light and advice and whitney is the something of signifcance. So if its right then I have a pretty good chance of whitney saying yes and this horoscope is telling me go and ask already!

So on tuesday Im going to ask her after class! I know I've said this before but this time I mean it! Im thinking of asking her if she would like to go out for ice cream, maybe bowling, thats what eric suggested. I think I'll go with bowling since thats what I thought of. Not that bowling is a bad suggestion is just that I want to stick to my guns.

nothing happened

splatombie: hi
Ewk30: hey
splatombie: whats going on
Ewk30: nm
Ewk30: you?
splatombie: not much just got home from class
Ewk30: nice
Ewk30: how did it go?
splatombie: nothing happened, i didn't ask her
Ewk30: why not?
splatombie: i kept on thinking that she woudln't want to do anything with me and that I've already asked her if she wanted to do something before and when i did she was dating someone
Ewk30: dude
Ewk30: you got to stop second guessing yourself
Ewk30: and as I recall
Ewk30: before
Ewk30: she didnt say no
Ewk30: she said she would still want to hang out
splatombie: true
Ewk30: my god mike your begining to sound like me
Ewk30: which is scary

I was thinking of going to cameilles and asking her on thursday. Maybe I'll actually do it this time.

Hopefully it will all work out.

I was just trying to add different gadgets to my blog but none of them worked. I think it's the browser.

I was busy today. Worked on my stopmotion video, building a house set and a costume. Worked on the advant garde shirt. I think Im going to cut out the words advant garde and sew it onto another shirt. Make it even more bizarre. Worked on the songs for my noise rock music. I went on emusic to look for noise rock but I got distracted and completely forgot. Edited a chapter of Dark Age.

Last night I watched a movie called 4 months, 3 weeks, 2 days. It was a romanian movie. It took place in romania right before the fall of communism. It was simply about a female college student who was having an illegal abortion. It was mostely handheld (not shaky cam!) and had a lot of long shots. It was very good. I always get excited with a movie when it looks good handheld or with long shots that either move or don't move. I guess thats the geeky side of me.

I almost cracked my knuckles but I stopped myself!

So tomorrow is the day I ask her. Hopefully she'll be there! That would suck if she wasn't. But Im sure she will be, she seems like a good student. I want to try and get there early enough so I can get a different seat. One that is not directly in front of emily and on that is closer to whitney.

Hopefully it will all work out.

I started I also I got Im excited

I started to do some work for my stopmotion movie. Dad helped me make a armature for the action figure (which Im using instead of a clay figure. The action figure has a lot of joints so it should be easy to use.) so it has an eaiser time standing. Im going to try have the background be a green screen so I can easily change the scenery.

I also started to work on a collage on consumerism. This will be the first project I hand in. Im thinking of doing it as a photocopy 3D collage. Should be interesting.

I got this idea to make some noise rock music with adam and eric and Im thinking of doing that as one of my art projects.

Im excited, anxious, nervous and worried about tuesday. I hope she doesn't take me asking her to the fair the wrong way since I already asked her out last semester. It would be so cool if she did say yes (I feel like Im in high school) since she is a pretty cool person. Hopefully I won't be extra nervous since emily is in the class. Hopefully I'll be able to ask her outside of the class room.

asking on tuesday

So I talked to eric and debbie (eric because he's my best friend and debbie because she was there) and asked them if they think it would be a good idea if I asked whitney on tuesday if she wanted to go to the fair with me. They both said to go for it, so if she's there and i get enough courage im going to do it! Hopefully. I bought a photographers portfoilio (a copy I assume) for 50cents! Its big too. Got two books too. 50 cents each. I had the documentary class today. Not much else.

Im driving myself crazy!

Im driving myself crazy! WHY! I went to my pro studio art class. Whitney was there, I sort of talk to her. I don't know why I didn't go to talk to her more. Well I do know why. First thing I was really nervous and the second, emily is in the same class with me. At first it was awkward, I would briefly, unintentionly glance at her and she would look really pissed off. Half way through the class we took a break and emily and I were the only ones in the room. I broke the awkwardness and asked how her vacation was. She responded like a normal humanbeing. Which was good.

I briefly talked to whitne but I wished I talked to her more, but I was just too nervouse, espically since it was the first day of school and I felt like emily was constently staring at me. Hopefully next class I will get to talk to whitney more and maybe have some kind of actual converstaion.

I think I have a fear of not being in a relationship and being alone for the rest of my life. Its nothing serious. I don't foolishly and do stupied things. I do that because I don't think straight, but then again who does. I just really like it when Im in a relationship with someone and every time I see emily in person or read something about her in facebook (like how she's engaged) or just seeing a picture of her, hurts me and makes me want to be with someone (even if its her, but then I remind myself thats the worst idea ever and I would never do that).

The first day

Today was the first day of school. I learned about dinosaurs and nouns.

No I didn't.

Nothing exciting happened. I had stats, the teacher seems cool and we do all of our homework in class. The person sitting behind me was one of the ice cream girls at Sewards. She's cool. She was relieved that I no longer work there. After that I walked around and read until my next class, acting one. That was fun. There was this one kid that was way to eager. He was like really out there. I meet this other guy who is from rutland and he graduated from stafford, from the forestry program. That was cool. I had to do an impression of him. That was interesting. My last class was history of mass media, yeah.

After HMM I went to PEG from 3-8. It looks like i'll be working about 4 days a week. I was originally schedualled from thursday 12-5 but I have class at 2 so Im going to see if I can get out of working on thursdays completely.

Im excited for tomorrow. I have studio pro and its the class with whitney. Hopefully it will go well. I don't plan on doing anything other than just talking but, hopefully she'll be in the class and it will go swell.

School starts tomorrow!

On Thursday a woman came into PEG to drop off a video and she gave us a bowl of fortune cookies. Chris, Mike, Crystal and I had one and they were stale. The woman said that she had been collecting them. Weird.

On Friday PEG had a BBQ party. Mike V said, "So said, we only had two parties this summer."

On Saturday Ryan and I went hiking in Hubberton. The trials we went on were part of a zen garden that a local Japanese man built. It was pretty cool. Later that day Eric, Adam and I went to the theater and saw Death Race. It was pretty bad. The camera in the action scenes would not stop moving! If you though Cloverfield was bad, this was the worst! The orignal was definitly better. My dad refused to believe that since he says the original was pretty bad.

Today is Sunday. Tomorrow is Monday, the first day of school. My Senior year. I wonder what college will be like after I gradutate from high school. Wait, I'm in a senior in college. Wow, I feel so old. Just saying senior in college makes me feel ancient. It should be an interesting year, hopefully a fun one. I'll definitly will be busy with school work and PEG during the week. Hopefully I'll have an even split of time for school and time for work. I don't want to be the person that constantly works and goes to school and never has time to have fun. That would be terrible! Fun is important!

I wonder what sort of adventures I will be taking part in. I hope my last year won't be all work and no play. I hardly doubt that since even if it's work I treat it like play! I wonder if I'll get a girlfriend. Whitney maybe? I hope so, she's pretty cool. I have pro studio with her on tuesday. I found this out on friday when I went to Camielles to buy a pair of jeans and belt. She seemed quite excited about it when we found out. I found her on facebook and she's not listed as in a relationship so maybe there is a chance...

I've been working on my book pretty steadly. It's coming along nicely. I can't wait finish it! Dad started our subscription to emusic again. I found some saul williams albums and the bjork song earth intruders. Sweetness.

Not much else going on. Listening to EQX. I told Eric I want to do a noise rock project with him and adam. Maybe Matt would be intersted too. Maybe...

Watching Death Race made me want to play Interstate 76 so I tried to install it on the computer but the game is so old it's not compatible with our new computer. To bad so sad.

I guess you could say

At PEG Crystal and I had to video tape an interview that was hosted by Jack I mean Tom Haley (I kept on mixing those two names up, not good if your making the DVD). We did it at alumni field looking out from the press box. The four guys were right outside of the window so you could see the field in the background which was the focue of the interview. At first we had some audio problems which were a bit frusterating but we got them figured out. Then when we played it on the TV the audio would't play right but it played fine after we captured it. We watched it on the time line and it seems fine, just some digital drop out. Its finished.

I went to the dollar store to get some supplies for an art project and when I was getting change the chasier said, do you want a gold dollar. I said yes. It was funny. She was old and cute.

Crystal might be getting a job at the CSC library. But she still might be able to videotape the meetings. I hope it does work out that way since she said the job will be full time with benefits which is what she needs.

I guess you could say I have a crush on Becca. I've been thinking that a long distance relationship would not be a good idea, since you need the person there espically in the begining. I guess I should just see her as a friend and keep my eye, mind and heart open for other people.

When I go back to school I want to see if I can do the senior column but do it in the style of the talking pictures in the rutland herald. It would be different that talking pictures though. Instead of having pictuers of people talking it would have pictures of what Im talking about and I wouldn't use so many effects. Plain and simple.

mississippi queen

We had the cooking show with sanjukta gosh today. I tried her meal (indian food) and it was very good. She was surprised to see me and crystal working at PEG. I started to work on a industrial version of mississippi queen. I don't know why I wanted to do this, but I just started to. I recorded the vocals, made a drum track and used a sample from the actual song for the gutiar. Its quite different. It's definitly like a industrial blues song. Not much else.

updated 8-16-08

Just updated saturday's post about middlebury and becca, revisions and additions.

daydream

Sometimes I think I daydream way too much. One time while I was watching tv I was daydreaming that someone was with me. Someone that I wanted to be with. I got so involved in this day dream that when I went to the kitchen to get something to eat I grabbed a two napkinds, one for myself and the other for the person in my day dream. Weird.

Then today I went for a long walk to enjoy the nice weather while it lasts. While I was out I started to day dream. This time Becca calls me telling me that she got out of work early and was wondering if I was free to hangout. I tell her that I am free and that Im going for a walk and I ask her if she wants to join. She says that'd be cool and she could be down there in an hour. I say I could meet her in front of walmart. Then at that moment I realized how far the day dream was going and stopped it.

Is this something to be concerned with? All of this intense day dreaming. Or am I just a hopeless dreamer. I guess I just want to be with Becca badly enough that my day dreams are starting to seem real. Thats kinda scary. I need to control these day dreams, not let them run wild. It puts me in this spot were Im hoping for something that will never happen, not something that may not happen. It is possible that I Becca and I could get back together.

I just wish I knew how she felt. Does she slowly want to get back together or does she just want to stay friends and stay in touch as we go our seperate ways. We did go through about 3 years without seeing each other but that was neccessary. We had dated, broke up and spent time doing our own thing. Seeing other people doing other activities. Activites that we may have never had the chance to do wether it be good or bad if we kept a close relationship. I know Becca is going to a different school in a different state, but if you think about it if Becca dated someone from Long Island it would pretty much be the same, unless that person was from Vermont which is pretty unlikely. If she did date someone from there then they...ok ok I need to stop...this is going to far! Thinking too much! It's like Im planning the future or trying to make up her mind!

showing mike that there is more to middlebury than just Hannifords.

A little after 1 I decided to call becca. She said she would call me around 12 but its after 1 so I figured I should call her. When she answered she said she was just about to pick up the phone to call me. Weird. We said we had a psychic connection. She asked me how well I know downtown middlebury and I said, I know where hannifords is. She told me to meet her there, so at around 1:40ish I went up to middlebury.

I guess I got there a little bit earlier then she expected since she showed up 15 minutes later. When I was waiting, I was thinking is she already here and I just can't see her? Or maybe I missed heard the message she gave me and said call me at hannifords, not meet me at hannifords. So I called her and asked if she was in hannifords and she said yes, so I was really cofused, but it ended up being she just arrived when I called. When I was still waiting I thought I saw her, because it saw a skinny white female dressed in black, so I started to walk towards her and when I was about to wave and say hi I realized it wasn't her. That saved me some embaressment.

When she arrived we got in my car and headed to downtown. After we parked the car and got out she asked me if I wanted the door locked since she's not used to locking it. I said sure since Im so used to living in the dangerous city of Rutland. I told her I usually put a club on my steering wheel and sometimes even a boot on my tire.

We went to some shops, we first went to wilde tyhme mountain, I think it's called. It's some kind of hippie shop. I was there with emily one time. I got some postcards and a no W sticker. I told becca the sticker means no white people. She said that was terrible but still laughed.

Becca said we should hang out by the river after we get something to drink/since I was thristy. She asked me if I was thirsty just when I was about to tell her I wanted to get something to drink. I said she was pyschic and she said we have a mental connection. I asked her if when she goes to the river if she says "take me to the river" and when she gets there she says "down by the river" or "rolling on the river" She said "I think that exactly in that order too". We went to a deli and to get our drinks. I got a orgenia and a peanut butter cookie. Becca got a izze soda, rasberry I think. She took me to the river.

"I dont know why I do, I wanna know that you'll tell me, Take me to the river and drop me in the water"
-talking heads, "take me to the river"

We hung out 'down by the river'. "Be on my side, I'll be on your side,There is no reason for you to hide,It's so hard for me staying here all alone,When you could be taking me for a ride,You take my hand, I'll take your hand,Together we may get away"
Down by the river-Neil Young, "Down by the river"

(FYI The original meaning of the songs do not stand in this blog entry. The selection of lyrics is what matters in this entry.)

(update 8-17-08 I think I was being a bit melodramatic with these lyrics. Helpless romantic?)

The spot we hung out at was near the spot where her dad found the body of the college student that died and couldn't be found. In a way it was kinda weird. So I said "and over there the old man went down on me". She laughed. (earlier I told her the last time I went to middlebury an old man tried to make me his boyfriend) We talked movies and college. She changed her major to philosophy and minor in studio arts. She said that a major in musical theater was way to competitive. She would have been required to sing five songs in five different styles and one of the songs had to be in a different language. She wants to do an internship with her dad. She's interested in doing criminal profiling. I wasn't too surprised when she told me that, in a good way. When we were sitting there, I reminded myself to really absorb the moment because before you know it, it'll be gone. And here I am writing about it. It's gone, but still her in my memory and in this writing.

We left the river and went to a stationary store, an art store and a book store. At the art store we were looking at a door with some signs like it was a piece of art. It was fun. Then we did the same thing with a chair, but I think the chair actually was a piece for sale.

At the book store we found a book about 14,000 things to be happy about. We read through some of it adding in our own, genocide, abortions. When we were at the book store I felt like we were in a cheesy chick flick. Weird. Actually the whole time we were hanging out was like that.

Becca was looking at a van gogh calender and she said "Did I tell you Im going to amsterdam?" When she said it there was an older guy standing by her and I walked up to her and said, "Are you asking me or him?" She laughed and looked at the guy and said, "Did I tell you I'm going to amsterdam?" The guy laughed and said "Im going too!" She told me she is going and asked if I wanted a postcard. I said yes and she just needs my address.

The book store has a music selection and while I was looking through it I mentioned to becca that local music is always folk music. She said there's nothing wrong with folk music (her and her dad are in a folk band) but I just ment that I have nothing against folk music it's just sterotyping vermont.

She wanted to show me a music store that she thought I would really like since it sold old vynal and was very anit government. But when we got there it was no longer there.

At the end of the day I dropped her off at a restaurant where she was meeting her parents. She said we should stay in touch and hang out during the winter break. That would be cool. She told me she's going to amsterdam and she will send me a postcard, I just have to give her my address.

It would be really cool if we did end up dating again. We dated before, and she is the only exgf I would date again. I know she still likes me as a friend, but Im not sure how she feels about dating again, espically since she goes to school in Long Island. I wouldn't have a problem with it because Its Becca. Now Im worried that I'll meet some new girl at CSC and I won't get to date Becca. Im not sure if thats a bad thing or what.

All in all it was a fun time. I hope we get to do it again.

thick russian accient

Yesterday Sen Bernie Sanders had a public meeting with Comcast, relating on the disapearing channels but the price remaining the same. I got to videotape it for PEG. It was quite fun. When I was there waiting Channel 3 News came. I had to tell him that he was plugging his audio cable for his camera into our audio input box. Then he placed a mic for bernie but he put it at the wrong place. The little guy knew more! When I was shooting, Channel 5 for NBC (local news) was to my right, cassandra holting (sorry if its misspelled) from the rutland herald and fox 44 to my left. It was pretty crowded. But it was fun. The crowd was definitly energtic, so was bernie. He's definitly a good politician.

I was at work today. A woman with a thick russian accient came in and tried to sell me fake jewlery. She said it was for a fundraiser. Seemed suspicious to me. So I told her that the executive director wasn't in and he would be the one to talk too and we were pretty busy now. She left.

At around 12:45 Becca called. She said sorry for not repsonding and she couldn't hang out today because she had to work. But she wants to hang out on saturday. Yey. She gets out of work at 12, she'll call me then.

black bob

I went hiking at ascutney today. I got some good pics. It was fun but it made me late for work. Only by like 10 minutes. No one really noticed or cared. They've been having some problems with their control room switcher. Dad it might have to do with the firewall. IDK. So today was another 3-8 shift of nothing! I won't complain though. I like my job. Im not so sure if Im hanging out with becca friday. I hope we do, it would be fun. I saw a black bob gershon, melvin van pebbles. I saw a movie about sweet sweetbacks badassssss song. It was really good.

spam

to tired to write much. I unknownly spammed a ton of peeps of facebook. So I apologized to everyone. There was a lot. I can't do the sunset race tomorrow because I have to work. Oh well.

FAWK

I just found out the NIN concert was postponed until Novemeber 9th. WHY! did Trent have to get sick! Well at least it didn't get canceled completely. Hopefully Ryan and I will still be able to go. Hopefully. I got so excited for this, I couldn't fall asleep because of it, and now this. I was counting down the hours! Sheet Fawk. Im not in the greatest of moods right now. FAWK! I hope trent gets better soon so he doesn't have to cancel any more dates.

Public Access

Crystal and I have agreed to make a tv series on what it's like to work at a public access station. It's going to be a comedy so it won't be that accurate to what it's like to work there. But it should be fun. I think we decided on this on, Tuesday the fifth. We have two and a half scritps written and I think they are pretty good. Eric is on board too. The show will have the atmospher of The Office and the humour of Scrubs. It should be alot of fun.

I talked to Mike Val today about a soap opera show that he shot befor I started to work at PEG. I guess he only shoot a couple episdoes because he was then hired at PEG. When he started to talk about it, he sat down like he had a long tale to tell.

NIN tomorrow!

Havn't heard from becca about hanging out again. Maybe I'll send her a message to see if she's doing anything next weekend.

Tomorrow I have to bring my car to the garge because the break fluid is empty and my dad said there must be a leak. Hopefully it won't be anything too coastly.

me go eat now

Today was a long day at PEG. 9 1/2 hrs. There was an aldermen meeting and I had to stay at the studio to flip the switch and push the buttons. Of course something goes wrong. I was supposed to broadcast the meeting on channel 20 and 21 but when i try 21 it doesn't work. But luckly mike Val was able to fix it from home. Caleb first noticed what was wrong, I did not realize it. I don't feel like typing much because Im hungry. I got an email from logo about my movie. I almost forgot I told them about it. So im going to mail them a copy as soon as I can. I all ready have a copy made so it should be easy. me go eat now.

Taiko

Rutland had its ethnic festival today. I didn't see what was so ethnic about it expect for the Taiko drummers, which I videotaped for PEG. I figured it would be a good event to show since they are pretty good. This time the audio came out pretty good. Yey. While I was taping I was wishing I had eric on a 2nd camera but it came out good. I asked permission from the drummers before I did anything and they asked for a copy, so Im going to give them an unedited version and an edited version. Im edited it down since I want it to be 30 minutes. So far it's coming out pretty good.

Yesterday sound barrier had a tent at the sidewalk sales. I got four cds, two tshirts and shorts for $11! Now thats a savings! I got a patti smith, tom morello, beck ep and an anti flag cd. One of the shirts I got is for the ministry album filth pig.

I listened to the patti smith cd and I like it. They are all cover songs but they sound like patti smith songs. The anit flag cd I got is pretty good too, except my cd player kept on skipping. All of the cds are good!

facebook stalker

Well well well. I had my get together withh becca today. It was fun. I was quite excited for it all day. Well ever since I heard we were getting together. Becca said she didn't realize that we say batman begins the last time we saw each other. We both thought that was quite funny. I got her to chuckle about pointing out that the mayor (in dark knight) was wearing eye shawdow and he got to be the mayor with jazz hands. After the movie in the lobby we saw andrew, her xbf. That was weird, espically since he said he knew we were here. I asked him if he was facebook stalking us and he said he was! That's pretty weird, if you ask me. I gave becca my cell and home number but I didn't write it on her wall. I don't feel like andrew having my number. He looked kinda weird too. Long hair, scruffy beard. I think it's safe to say that becca did enjoy her time too. She said she wants to get together again but with more talking. yey. I sent her a message on facebook saying I had fun and we should get together again, but with more talking. i wanted to give becca my cd and the hostiles cd but I forgot. Oh well. hopefully we will get together again.

7-30-08

I didn't write yesterday since I forgot and was too tired to. The highlight of my day was going hiking down in Pawlet with Ryan. The hike was pretty steep but the view from uptop was amazing. It was a 360 view and you could see for miles. It was crazy. I of course took pictures.

I found my aunt Karla on facebook. That was interesting.

I really want to work on my idea for a video where you start shooting the movie not knowing what it's going to be about. It would be an interesting expirment, espically if it really took off and the actors got into it.

I got confirmation from Becca that we are going to see dark knight at 7:30. yey. I was telling ryan about this and he asked me if there was still anything between her and I. I know there is with me. I don't know about her. She's the only girlfriend that I have had that I woul-A bug was on my foot, that was weird, looked like a beetle- would want to go back out with. The reason being-I better keep my feet on the chair so the bug doesn't crawl on me again, I don't know where it is-The reason why I would want to go back out with her is because it was a near perfect relationship. It would have been perfect if I didn't act like a asshole and refused to go see her in middleberry. Im still can't believe I did that. I guess I thought my parents would be mad at me for driving that far, even thought its not that far at all. Granville VT is farther away! It wouldn't be easy if we went back out since she goes to school in long island which is 4 hours away. I could take the train from rutland and meet her in ny, but now im just geting ahead of my self.

One thing at a time.

Friday first. She might not even be interested in dating agin. Just Batman.

prego

Work had a weird vibe today. Don't know why. I went to applebees with Debbie today. She called me and asked if I wanted to do something. It was fun. I had a applebeetini. It tasted like apples and alcohol. I saw kirk there too. That was funny. My sister is prego! Im going to be an uncle! Im excited. So the movies on friday is looking good with Becca. Got a message from her today. She liked my advice I gave her if her boss tried to call her in. I told her she is having and eye problem and can't see herself going to work. She thought it was funny and said that Friday was definite because of that.

Buckaroo!

BORED! very boring day. I cleaned my room. Worked on the mash up video of Closer and Rockstar. Watched The Adventures of Buckaroo Banizai across the 8th deminsion. THATS ABOUT IT!! Im excited for friday. Hopefully we can hang out before and or after the movie. That would be cool. Listening to the muse. Knights of Cydonia!

BORED!

BORED! I worked on some poems. Went to Terra to work on my book, got some attention from some customers. A woman mentioned Orsen Scott Card. Sci-fi/fantasy writer.

My hand hurts

Today was a busy day. At PEG Crystal and I spent 3 hours putting together a desk. That was fun. After PEG I went to Taco Bell with Justin, Jon and some guy dome Mesha. He was pretty weird. Quite a space cadet. I went to the Hostiles CD party and got two cd's, one for me and I want to give one to Becca, I'd figured she would like it. Her and I further confirmed our plans for next friday. Looking good. Out plans and her. I went to the poetry reading at Cafe Terra. It was pretty interesting. All different kinds of poetry. From suicide to nature to sext birds to slam poetry. I hope they have it again. It was fun. Justin and I saw Step Brothers. That was really funny. My hand hurts.

Should Be Interesting

So last night I probably spent the longest time I've ever spent on Facebook. I was pretty much just starting a page for Black Saw. I wrote a page long bio, that's kinda funny. What's stupied is inorder to upload songs onto facebook you have to submit a picture of your drivers liscense or student ID. I was like, screw that. I just put a link to my myspace page and a new page I started called pure volume. It's not bad, running kind of slow last night. I tried sending invitations to as many people I thought would be interested, that was fun. I never knew so many people had a J in their name. What's interesting, my first CD was 50min and my latest CD is around 40ish I believe.

I still have to make that DVD for matt.

I started making plans with Becca. Yey. She said she might be available next friday. She said she's working three jobs! That crazy I would never want to do that. I don't care how much money I would get. 3 jobs! It would be awesome if we got to hang out. Justin wants to hang out with me on Friday. He wants to go to the movies and to Denny's. Hopefully I can talk him into one or the other. There's also a poetry reading at Cafe Terra I want to go to, I guess he is not interested. His loss. Then Debbie texts me saying she wants to hang out over the weekend. Im mr popularity, gesh.

Im thinking of doing a bare bones, raw, low fi, album, as my next CD project. Minimal words and chords. Recorded on a cassette with one microphone. Should be interesting.

the real world

So last night I offically disembowled myself from the wretched world of internet dating sites. When I left the sites there was a spot to leave a comment from why I'm leaving. So I wrote this.

All I got were people rejecting me or ignoring me. I want to meet people in the real world not this phony world where people can change who they are and not be who they really are because they don't feel comfortable with themselves, and that's why they're on this site. Im comfortable with myself so Im going to go into the real world and not hide behind this distorted current of lies.

I will never go back to those sites and stay in the real world. There was too much distortion. Too many desperate people.

Next Topic

Ok I'm back. Dinner was good, raveolies with tomato sauce, satauied peppers and onions. Tastey. But like I was saying. I still have feelings for Becca since When we did date in high school we had a great relationship but I messed it up and started acting stupied. The one big thing that I did was not driving up to middleberry to see her. After that I learned that was a really stupied thing to do since middleberry is not that far. I just let my parents control me. Well I was still in high school so I guess they still had some control over me. I really do hope I get to hang out with Becca since I havn't seen her in like years and she's a realy cool person to hang out with. I would like to date her again, the only problem being is that she goes to college in Rhode Island. I guess if we really wanted it to work we would deal with it. But still, Rhode Island, that's not a place you go to for the weekend, with my car and with gas prices these days. So Im sure she would understand, but Im getting ahead of myself. First I have to start hanging out with her. Don't expect to be dating her, because who's to say she wants to date me anyways.

Next topic.

At PEG today we had a cooking show shoot and I got to work on the camera switcher. It was a lot of fun. Tom sand Crystal said I did a good job too. I did mess up with the Picture and picture the first time I tried it, but after that it was a breeze. The last time I did something like this was like four years ago. The host of the show broke one of PEG's big rules and she advertized the restaraunt that the guest cheif is from. We were not impressed with that. Naughty naughty. Tomorrow Crystal and I will be editing the show and taking out that part.

clogging my brain

I just had to write this because it's been clogging my brain. I was talking to becca trying to set up a time for when we could hang out. I go to her page to post a message and a friend of her's say something like, I don't remember him but he sounds cool. The first thing I thought of was, they must be talking about me. I just think that thinking that is pretty selfish. I have to way to see who they are talking too, nor should I, cause that's kinda creepy. Following someone's conversation on facebook, weird. It's been bothering a tiny bit, clogging my brain. I don't think they were talking about my because that is a very selfish way to think and very egotistical. More later on PEG today. I have to eat dinner now.

SPARC concert

The SPARC concert was pretty good. Alot of good talent. The one band I didn't like was After the Fall. Im not too much of a hardcore listener myself. Out of all honesty matt's band (minus drummer) did a fantastic job going acustic. I started watching the footage I got but my camera started going all screwy and I couldn't use my good camera because the adapter was being used to charge a battery.

My friend Becca was supposed to be there but she never showed up. She sent me a message that Ijust got, saying she was kept late at work. Happens to the best of us at the worst of times. She said she would still like to get together some time. Which is cool with me. I think it's funny that the last time I saw her Batman Begins was playing and now here we are meeting again and the Dark Night is playing. Funny.

I got to give out some CD's. I pretty much just donated them to SPARC. They seemed to like it, I added them to my myspace friends list. Tomorrow Im meeting matt to work on the new script. We're meeting at sewards. It should be fun.

I got my car fixed

I got my car fixed. They said for now they can replace the spark plugs but further down the road the engine will need to be replaced. When that happens I might as well get a new car. Im glad it wasn't anything really big or expensive.

At PEG we got to mess around in the kitchen studio. We became more comfortable with the video switcher. We had some fun doing it too. We messed around with the chroma key function. That was fun. At 4, everyone left and we were on our own. It's pretty cool that they give us that much trust so early in the job. We've only been working there for two weeks and he's leaving us on our own. Pretty cool. Crystal and I just stayed in the break room, watch TV, ate cold pizza, answered the phone and took care of two customers. It was fun.

Tomorrow is the SPARC concert that I'm going to be videotaping for PEG. I was talking to Becca on facebook. She said she'll go too. I hope she does. That would be cool to see her again. I asked her if she would like to hang out afterwards and she said she would. Cool. Her brothers coming too...not like that would matter. I wasn't going to do anything. We dated once, it eneded and even if we did try to date again, it wouldn't work since she goes to shool in Rohde Island which I learned yesterday is it's own state. Thats kinda dumb. Its so small!

having some problems

My car has been having some problems. A couple of days ago it started to idle pretty roughly, then the next day the check engine light came on. So tomorrow Im going to bring it in to the Toyota dealership to get it checked out. Hopefully it won't cost to much or I won't have to get a new car. As long as I can have this car for one more year, that would be good.

At PEG we had our first orientation for the cooking show. One of two people showed up. Crystal and I got to practice with the control deck in the kitchen studio. It was fun.

Yesterday I dropped off my pictures for the photo contest at the chaffee art center. After I went to Terra Cafe. I saw one of the regulars from Sewards there. He asked me how my new job is. Then later he asked me if I ever did any acting. I said a little bit in High School and Im taking an acting class next semester. He asked if I wanted to sign up with their newsletter so I said sure and gave him my email. At Terra I had a monkies eye. It was really good. The chasier said I looked different with out a hat. She was there the last time I was there.

AHHHHH!!!! Real Monsters!!!!!

Thats about it

not much hoppin. Went to work, helped shoot a talk show. Tried to capture 2hrs of video but after 2hrs we found out zero audio was captured. So we started over. But Caleb offered to capture the second half while we were capturing the first half. Crystal and I were introduced to the board of directors. One of them is ryle harts mom. I started editing the friday night live video. Thats about it.





I smell for some reason....

sophisticated

I went to PEG today and did pretty much nothing. We cleaned a little, washed some mugs(no dishwashing!) then a couple hours later we stuffed some folders and copied some papers. I guess it was just a slow day. Mike and Tom were busy updating the HD equipment in the control room and studio. yey HD. It looks like I'll be having weekends off. Cool. I shot some footage at Friday Night Live. On monday Crystal and I will edit it. I told Tom about it and he said to knock myself out. Caleb said to be carefull about that. He's right. I was wearing my classey work clothes at FNL and I felt very sophisticated. I saw my 4th grade teacher mrs hackett and mrs black. I bought a strawberry rubar pie as well. I wonder if they have other kinds of rubar? I went hiking with Ryan and Arian at the rail trail. So It was more of a walk than a hike. I found a giant rubar leaf. It was pretty cool. Im posting more songs on my band myspace page as im writing this.

Awesome

I was waken up by people working on our roof. I first heard the sound in a dream. In the dream I was in a room. I heard a loud banging coming from the second floor and someone said they were moving barrels up stairs. So when I woke up I still heard the noise, I was quite confused.

I got to control a studio camera at work today. It was quite fun. Other than that I don't think I did too much work. I might be forgetting something. Seems like I am. I don't know. Weird. I was talking to Tom and he said if I ever wanted to shoot and edit something to put on PEG I could. So I was thinking of doing a little spot on Friday Night Live, tomorrow. Then I could do another piece on the SPARC show. That would be fun.

Mike Brown came in today, I guess he's making a comedy sketch show, he wants to put it on PEG. I asked what Im up to and I said, Im working cant you tell. He laughed because I was just sitting there looking at the PEG scrap book. Ron from MSJ came in saying he had left a resume. I think he's kinda late. Myself and Crystal felt a bit ackward when he was there. So we both slowly walked out of sight. He was looking a bit sketchy too.

Eric got the internship. He said he's coming down to the studio on Tuesday. Give him the run around. I said to eric that working at PEG doesn't seem like work, like it did at Sewards. It just seems like Im going there because I enjoy it and it's fun. Awesome.

PEG Halloween

Well we did some actual work today at PEG. First we edited together a parade video, crystal left half way through because she had to help caleb set up in mill river. Well actually, we played rock paper sizzors and she won. Editing was fun, we used a program called Ulead, consumer software but it got the job done. Afterwords we got to mess around in the studio, so we can become more familiar with it. The real fun was when we had to call a long list of people, around 25~. Leaving voice mail is so much eaiser than actually calling people.

So we got these office rooms with a computer which has final cut 3. Thats cool, but they aren't connected to the server so why would we edit on them? or need them? unless we will be doing other tasks. I can't even capture video tape with my computer! Oh well, Im sure it will have it's uses.

I watched the Halloween remake. I think I liked it better than the original because it was more about michael being a character and not just an entity.

work's fun!

Im quite surprised I didn't put a post on my first day of work at PEG TV. It's quite exciting since, so far I just love my job. The first day was mainly first day stuff, filling out forms(I need to bring my social security card tomorrow) getting a tour of the facilities, stuff like that. We also helped caleb help set up the equipment for the alderman meeting shoot. My coworker is a student from CSC whom I am familier with. She graduated from CSC this year. She seems pretty cool, her names crystal. Later on towards the end of the shift we had a movie quote trivia. I believe this job will be so much better than washing dishes.

After work I started working on my zombie panic movie idea. If I didn't mention this before, I've been playing this game called zombie panic. I got this idea while watching diary of the dead to make a movie with that game. So I found a program that works to capture video from the game, but I have to use my mic to capture audio. It's not to bad though. So on monday I played from about 45, captured what I was playing with the movie in mind, got some good shots and started a video that's coming out pretty good. I just need to focus on getting shots of the same character.

Today we got out own offices. Crystals comp was already set up but I had to put mine together. They had parts there but they were all wrong. I had to get a tower, keyboard and mouse from Crystals office. I got it all setup and running. I own rock paper siccors so I went and helped caleb bring back the video equipment from city hall. It was so hot today. After that we went with Tom for a studio shoot. He let us push buttons too! It was fun. We really didn't do too much after that. The cable went out. Don't know why though. We played more movie quote triva and did impersonations. Doing the impersonations did make me more comfortable there. Im more opened up to them. The shell is breaking. Mike Valentine is the complete opposite of Tom Sewards. Its pretty funny. Some times when we're doing nothing I feel kinda bad and that we should be doing something. But I guess that's how it is. I got to leave a half hour early but still got paid for it.

Afte work I raced in the second sunset series race. It was fun and exausting. I got 28:29. 29 sec slower than the last race, it was fun though.

life is easy, eat shoot edit

Yesterday was my last day as a dishwasher. It was like the season finale of a tv show. The old chapter ended and the new chapter will begin on Monday at PEG TV at 1pm. It was a pretty slow and dead last day. No surprise since it was July 4th. The last 15 min of the shift I wanted to get out of there so bad. I knew this was it and I just wanted to be done with it. I didn't get to say bye to Tom, he was hiding somewhere, I guess he doesn't do good byes. But I gave the staff a thank you card and I gave J a card I thought he would find funny since it had to do with our on going joke, Im not your buddy, guy! Im not your guy, friend!

Im not sure if I said this but on thursday I bought a 24 pack of mikes hard ice t for $8! That's a $21 savings!

Today I did some erraons. I went to Michael's and got a black tshirt, I was supposed to get a black and a white tee but I forgot and just got the black one. I also got two white fabric markers, and generation t has put out merchandise you can use with clothes alteration. They must of sold a lot of copies of the 108 ways book. I also got a bucket hat for my hand modification. I made some more copies of my new cd and I would have to say the art work looks so much better in color than bw. I made a fully functional test packet for the cd and it works out good, I just needed to draw two tabs on the original, so when I make a copy I will cut around the tabs to close off the sides. I went to cafe terra, or as I like to call it, cafe terror! I had a mocca latte with a pastrie and worked on my book. Ann, the girl that works there who I know from CSC told me to come back next week to tell her about my new job. So I will! There was a guy playing acustic guitar, I thought that was pretty cool.

When I got home from the cafe I made the bucket hat out of the "samuel jackson hat" and the michael's bucket hat. As my dad said It looks proffesionally made and stylish. I did like how it came out too. My next clothes project is the DIY revolution tshirt. Then the "life is easy, eat shoot edit" tshirt.

I read about a mini web series on you tube about a dirty bomb going off. I watched all 16 parts, it was pretty good. I started to watch the series that the creators were inspired by, lonelygirl15 and did not see what the big deal was, it was kinda annoying, you know like really, like omg!!! I started to watch the adaptation of Mary Shelly's The Last Man but had to stop watching after the 3rd chapter, it was pretty bad. I'll have to get my hands on the book.

After watching the dirt bomb web series I thought I should release my movies online like that. Inside of breaking it down in parts have it be little episodes.

I nearly cut off my thumb

I saw the mumblecore movie, hannah(I can't speel) takes the stairs. It was pretty interesting. At first I wasn't sure if I would like it, since the audio was a bit, mumbled but once it got going I was enjoying it. Nice and low budget too. I saw it at Ryan's place he made burritos and had ben and jerry's ice cream for deseret. yummy.

I nearly cut off my thumb at work today, well just skimmed some skin off. Not to bad. The day manager commented on my haircut today. "Got a new haircut for your new job!" I said, "yeah and I got new shoes too!" Tomorrow is my last day! I got J a card he will like. Im not your buddy guy! I got the staff a card too. I found a cabinet in one of the back rooms of the restaurant. It is supossed to hold a air mask but instead there's an empty wine bottle! Tom tom tom.

I got the downward spiral special edition cd. I think I like it better than the fragile, more of my kind of industrial. The Walking Dead book should be here soon, I got a email noteafi. Im 90% done with my album. So close. Im trying to decided to either have the final art work be color or BW. I think It'll be color since I didn't really like how it came out in the BW. kinda cheap looking.

36 more days till the NIN concert!!! Yoot.

WHY!

I wasn't planning on writing today but I was just driving my self mad. WHY! why do I keep on looking at my x's facebook! WHY!!! It's making me crazy. Especially since I checked her friends page to see what my x told her and I found out she's with another guy (I knew they were going to get together) But I don't care if she's with him. I don't want to be with her. Im done. finished! I wanted that relationship to be over with! I need to stop going to facebook. That's what im going to do. Im going to go listen to NIN now. three more days.

one more week left!

This week is my last week at Sewards. July fourth is my last day of work, my independence day from sewards! July 7th I'll start my job at PEG. Very exciting stuff. Over the weekend I helped dad put a record onto a cd. The quailty is really good. Dad said it sounds better than the record. Im very close to finishing my latest album, How to survive in a new worl order. Just need to finish the art work. I've been training my replacement at Sewards. Hopefully he'll work out. I wanted to give the little kid, kurt his card today but they didn't come in. Im thinking of asking ashely, one of the waitresses, if she could call me when they come in on next sunday. I would like to give it to him in person. I saw a friend of mine went through a break up. I sent her a message telling her Im here if she needs someone to talk too. I hope she's alright. She didn't seem herself, at least on facebook.

five shirts for five dollars!

I was sitting at the computer getting the final mixes for my cd ready to burn. My phone vibrates, I think to myself. It better not be that old man. I take the phone out of my pocket, it slips before I could see the caller and falls on the floor. I pick it up, look at it. It's PEG TV. I answer it, it's the executive producer. We say our hello's and he asks me if I had to pick either the paid internship or and part time which one would it be? I say, the part time. He says, you got it. I couldn't believe it. The funny thing is, I was hoping he was going to ask me which one I wanted. I thanked him and he said, thank you and for all that you do. So It was quite exciting that I got the job. I just hope it works out. I asked him about August 8th and the NIN concert and he said he can arrange a day off for me. Sweet. I just need to tell my mom and dad that I'm going. I'll probably do that next week.

Afterwords I went to camelles and bought five shirts for five dollars! Four of them are nice formal shirts the fifth is just for fun. I coudn't pass it up for a dollar. It's a shirt from hannafords and it reads. Im here to help, ask me to be your shopping navagator. I thought it was pretty funny. I should wear it and go to hannafords. That would be funny. One of the shirts is made from a German designer. oooooo. I got my old Iron Man watch working, got a new battery.

The old man called me today. So I just simply told him that Im not interested in spending time with him. He asked why and I said there's no reason to discus it. He continued and started to tell me what we could do and asked me again what was wrong and if there was something we could talk about. I said, no, there's no point. He said, well I guess we'll just say hi when we see each other. And that was it. Hopefully he won't call again. I did feel kinda bad, but i just needed to end this before I got too far. I am not willing to take any chances with him or any other old man. Or old woman.

I also went to sewards and told tom that my last day is July 4th. He was happy about that! Not really though. I said, I thought I should tell you that July 4th is my last day. He said, What! I said, I got a job at PEG TV. He asked, is it a full time? I said, no it's part time. He went, huh, started to walk away then he said, good luck. Lisa was looking at me and said, what'd you do? I said, July 4th is my last day. She said, no sewards is your future! We both laughed.

I did some more work on the art for the cd. nice and collagey.

old man

Today after work I met with my "client" for the photography. Just so you know he's a very skinny man about 50 something years old. First we went to the library to check the bullentin board. We then went to the country club to get info on the dinning hall. When we got outside the older man said he wanted to go to middleberry to take the pictures, do some shopping and go eat at the a&w. I just went along with it. I was thinking that this is kinda weird. Especially since he asked me what I wanted to do, when it was he who asked me to take the pictures.

When we got into Middleberry we first went to tj max, he got some biscotti sticks. We then went to hanafords where he got some more stuff. I felt like I was down in NJ going shopping with my grandma! weird. We went to the bank so he could get some more money and then drove into the village of middleberry.

There we first went to a bakery and I got a white chocolate chip cookie (it was pretty good), he pointed out the fancy restaurnats that are good places to go to. We contunued and walked around, went to the falls, took some pics, walked across the bridge, took some pics, walked around some more, went to some stores. We went to this one fancy store where he was talking to the woman at the cash register and she asked if we are having a good day and he said that we are. He then said to me, "I don't mean to speak for you". He put his arm around my shoulders and said "your having fun right?" then we got back in the car and went to the a&w. We got some food, talked, he asked if I wanted to find a country road to get some more shots. I said I probably shouldn't and need to get back home.

We got back into rutland, he asked if he could go to Tennybrooke so he could break a ten to pay me for gas. He came back and I asked him where does he live so I can bring him back home. With hesitation he told me that he knows someone who is trying to destroy his life and everyone he meets. So he told me to drop him off at the Main St park. I though this was pretty weird. The fact that he doesn't want me to drop him off at his house, but someplace close to where he lives. Before he left he asked if I would like to plan to do something else. I was cought off guard, I was not expecting him to say that. I said I don't know when I would be available I would have to check and see. He said "well Im busy tomorrow and saturday how about sunday I call?" I said "I'm not sure". He said "how about if you plan what we'll do and I'll call on monday". I said ok. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, I had fun today. He got out of my car, got his stuff, said bye and I drove off.

When I got home I talked to my mom and dad about it and told them I felt like he wanted to be my "friend". We all agreed that was pretty weird and he needs to stay away. My dad said I just need to tell him that Im not interested. plain and simple. I don't want to spend any time with him so I just need to tell him flat out. Hopefully if I tell him that he'll understand and won't bother me anymore.

Im guessing he's probably a lonely man but I am way too young for him. WAY TOO YOUNG! If he was around my age and fit my type then I would pursue. But he's not so please leave me alone.

passing notes, I told her

When ariane and I were passing notes, I told her something that I have never told anyone else. I won't say what it is since this is a public forum. Im not really that comfortable saying it. I should be but Im afraid that people wouldn't take me seriously and that would hurt me because this is a very important part of my life and I have been struggling with it for sometime. I don't know If I'll ever get clarification or if I'll be in wonderment for my whole life. I hope not.

Im meeting my client for the photography tomorrow. I have no idea what he wants me to take pictures of. He never told me. Hopefully he will.

Ryan bought the NIN tickets, so now I really hope my possibly future boss won't mind me taking august 8th off. I'll just tell him that we planned to go before I applied for the job. Ryan told me to be assertive with him as well. Im sure he won't mind. He seems like a nice guy.