hope

Yesterday, a girl I tried to get in contact with sent me a IM. We talked for about an hour. We had a pretty good conversation, music and where we're from. I was hoping to get to talk to her again today but it doesn't look like it. She said she had to work and had a gig (she's in an acoustic band), she must have been tired and went to bed, or something like that. She seems like a very nice person. I went to her myspace page she had linked in her AIM profile. She had some music posted that she recoreded. She had a very nice voice. She's going to school in NJ for political science. Sounds like a difficult major. Hopefully we'll get to talk again. Hopefully it won't be like the other girl I meet. The one who wanted to be friends with me but would barely even talk to me.

Also yesterday I posted a question on justsayhi, asking about my fat girl deliema. In two hours I got 32 replies. They all said, date who you find attrative. You don't want to be with someone who you won't like being with. That made me feel better. So now Im just going to step away from that girl and continue.

I bought more of those really cheap cds. I listened to two and they're pretty good. It's fun to listen to a cd when you have no idea what it's going to sound like. I finally completed all of the totalitarian movie. Im giving matt his copy tomorrow at the co-op right after I get out of work.

I finished watching the first season of the web show, afterworld. It's pretty good. I found out rob zombie will be coming out with a new album. Ryan asked me if I wanted to go see NIN in worcester mass. I of course said yes. He just needs to be approved by his po and counselor. I hope they do let him go. I havn't heard anything yet from PEG TV. dad said it might take a while. I'll wait. Im getting anxious though.

I am a media junkie

I beat my PR for a two mile run! It was 17:58 but today I ran it in 16:28. Sweetness. When I went to work after running, I was full of energy but after a while I crashed and became quite tired. Why couldn't those endorphines keep up the good work? After work I feed my media addiction(I am a media junkie). I got a $318 check from work, deposited $218 and cashed $100. After the bank I went to FYE and got 4 DVDs and 4 CDs. The cd's I got were like .25 .75 cents each, mainly because they were bands no one has ever heard of. Im listening to the second one now, so far so good. One of the DVD's I got was free, House of Seven Corpses. I got a NIN live DVD, supposedly it was recorded on home video cameras and edited on home computers. I spent about $42 and saved $11! Im such a good shopper. I vowed that I will always try to buy a movie used since it's oh so much cheaper.

I went to Justsayhi.com to post a topic in the forum relating to me should I try to date her delemia. After posting, not even a minute later, people replied. In like a minute and a half I got 4 replys. They all said, do what you want, its not wrong to not want to date a girl because of her weight.

Im burning copies of the totalitarian movie, yey its done.

shanty town

Im listening to Matt King. Not Nate king, Matt King. He's pretty cool. He's like blues, rock, southern country. I first heard him on eqx, shanty town, good song.

On the topic of music, I started to work on a instrumental song using parts of music from the composer, luigi russolo. He was an Italian futurist composer from the earlier 1900's. He was the frist person to make industrial music (screw throbbing gristle, I've got Russolo!) He made the compositions that Im using with a sound machine that he made. It was a giant instrument that made noises like sirens and weird string like sounds. When it was first played for the public the audience reacted violently, just as he expected them to. So I figured I'd pay homage to russolo by combining his noise with my noise. Sadly, none of his instruments survived WW2, damn you nazis! Guess I'll just have to make my own noise machines.

I just watched this really interesting movie called you and me and everyone we know. It was pretty cool. A must see! And the new indiana jones movie was pretty good. Im glad they kept all the action scenes very realistic.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but Im going to redo some of my vocals, in the the vein of atari teenage riot. I find this an apropiate thing to do since before I started recording I wanted to go for an industrial punk sound. I called PEG on wednesday. Hopefully someone will callback of email back.

40th post!

I just wanted to write something, a little update, nothing major. I started listening to a band called atari teenage riot, digital hardcore, is their genre. They're pretty good. Im actually thinking of redoing some of my vocals in the style that they use. Not all of the songs though, just some. Worked on a new song today, coming out pretty good.

I say the new indiana jones movie today with eric, adam and ryan. It was entertaining. Some of it was a bit to over the top. Like the kid swining from the vines like a monkey. After the movie adam eric and i talked by adams car for like alomst an hour, just talking car talk. You know, guns girls cars and beer, the usual.

Im still conflicted of seeing if the girl i meet online wants to meet sometime. Im conflicted because she's a bit overweight. But I keep on seeing all of these couples where either the guy or girl is overweight. She did say she wanted to lose weight, so maybe I could help her if things did work out. I just don't want to seem desperete and go out with the next girl that I see. But I do miss having a gf. It's nice just to be close with someone (in a nonsexual way) you can't do that with your guy friends.

?

I want to write something but I don't know what!

favor for a flavor?

I got another public enemy album yesterday. It's pretty sweet. The album isn't called pretty sweet, its called, it takes a nation of millions to hold us back. I like it. What I like about PE (not physical education) is their use of samples, it just creates this collage of sound that's pretty sweet, and chuck D is good too. Not Flavor Flav. He sucks big time.

Yesterday my mom and dad got in this argument, well discussion rather. My mom said that the church does not like yoga and zen gardens, so that pretty much means that she doesn't like them either. My dad told her that just because the church says you can't like this doesn't mean you have to not like it. He's right to, you have to make your own desicions. My dad said, if you don't believe in Jesus then are you going to hell and my mom said no. So Im thinking, whats the point in believing in Jesus? If you don't have to believe in him or any particular religion then why not do what you want. That's what I believe. Do what you want as long as no one gets hurt. Wanna have sex before your married, go ahead, it would actually be better that way since your first time is usually the worst.

I havn't told anyone this, only my parents know, so don't tell anyone, I sent in my resume to PEG TV since they had two part time positions open. Hopefully I'll get the job and can leave Sewards. That would be nice. I don't want to tell anyone until it's concrete that I have the job, since I don't want to create any false hype.

a cornasortacoping

well im feeling better. I guess writing down my thoughts and feelings makes me feel better. Imagine what I would be like if i was a cave man? I'd be a wreck! With Pep Pep day coming in June I'm gathering all of the photo's taking during the construction of the families cabin in Poultney and Im going to put them in chronilogical order in a photo album. I bouth one today at the dollar store for a 1.60. Liers they said it would be a dollar! not a dollar sixty! Work today wasn't too bad, busy, I ate four sunny side eggs and got very full. I got another public enemy cd, so far so good. Trent Reznor recemended it. Bow to trent. jk. A friend of mine asked for advice, Im hoping I gave the right advice and if so, he makes what he feels is the right desicion.

im a total fuck up

im a total fuck up. i can't stop thinking about emily even though she didn't treat me very nicely (i wasn't the best either). I keep on telling myself that I want her back but then I tell myself I don't. I keep on going back and forth back and forth. I looked at the facebook today. I don't know why. I almost started crying cause I just want to be with someone so bad, it's kinda sad. Im so rediculouse. Im probably going to be working alot. I don't really like my job. When Im there working and staying busy and getting good paychecks its not to bad. I think Im in more happier moods when Im with someone. That's why I want to be with some one so Im not so depressed. Why hasn't she changed her facebook yet? kinda weird. I meet someone and I push them away because I wasn't ready (which I wasn't) and because she was too fat! Who am I to judge people on their appearance! She was a nice person. Then I meet someone else but she all ready has a bf. I meet someone else, she wanted to be my friend but won't even talk to me. She'll talk but she won't start coversations or ask questions. Idk.I've been feeling so lously lately. not all the time. Just some of the time. Life sucks then you die. Why can't I be happy with what I got? why do I need to be with someone so bad? Im I that dependent? Is that a bad thing?

on my mind

There's something thats been on my mind. Is it shallow for a skinny guy not want to date an over weight girl?

Tacos and burritos!

I have 4 minutes till i leave for work. better make this quick. Im going hiking tomorrow! yey. going with ryan, then lasagna at his place. Im bringing salad and texas garlic toast. Sometimes it seems like we're a couple, weird. I made some crazy sounds with my keyboard, hooked up to my flanger and distortion pedal, it was pretty sweet. Im working 2-c yesterday and today, yey fun, not really. Hopefully i'll get friday off. I need to start editing my book. I need to write down everything that I need to do this summer. Times up, see ya later.

not much hoppin

Not much hopping today. Went to work, did some prep work with thomas. It wasn't too bad. He was in a good mood. Kurt, the six year old boy wanted to see me since he hasn't seen me in a long time, a month maybe? i started recording gutiar for my new album. Coming along pretty pretty good. Did some experimenting with my distortion and flanger pedals. I found a "robotic" type sound when I was messing around with my pep pep. Some girl on just say hi sent me a message, maybe I'll reply....she from manchester. thats like 1hr away! what happened to me meeting people in the rutland area?

ooo someone new

A girl on okcupid sent me a message. oooooo. I hope it's not a prank message. We did talk on aim yesterday so that was cool. hopefully i'll get to talk to her tonight. I sent her a message today, which was supposed to have been sent yesterday but the computer was all screwie. She's not from the rutland area but she seems like a cool cat so i won't complain.

I finished my last exam today! until next year. My new cd is coming along pretty good. 5 songs so far. cool.

shazam

this past weekend was my primitive survival camping trip and it was pretty fun i think i might like to do it agian some time this summer on thursday my rebel xti came in, very happy and its a very nice camera i need to get a flicker account so i can post my pics this is the last week of school before summer, my last summer vacation, so sad :( it's scary i'll be going into the real world in 2009, i have no idea what i'll be doing im sure i'll figure it out (stay at parents play video games all day my sister got married on the 8th my mom and grandma said it was a good wedding yey tonight i forgot to hit record on the vcr at the school board meeting oops hopefully they won't hate me, i'll just call them tomorrow morning

canon digital rebel xti

Sunday I put in my order at B&H for a Canono Digital Rebel XTI. Im quite excitied. 10 megapixels, fully manual, 3 pictures a second. Its digital! Did I say Im quite excited? I think so. On tuesday I got a email saying it was shipped so hopefully it'll arrive friday/saturday or early next week. I paying for the camera with the 1,000 $1 I saved up. fortunaly I didn't have to spend all of them just 870. The camera it's self cost (well actually, I was checking my email recipet for the price on the camera and it said the scheduled arrival date is 5-8, thats tomorrow!) 629.95, that's a kit camera so it comes with a lens. Im also getting a 50mm lens, 4gb memory card, carrying case, extra battery and a filter.

Today I'm going hiking with Ryan, not sure where but he's making pancakes so it should be fun.

I put my earth day at CSC video on a website called 802 live and its received 80 hits this past week. Cool. I found a video on there by the guy that makes the talking pictures in the rutland herald. it was pretty cool. http://802live.com/MediaItemView.aspx?id=2885

50/50

On Thursday we had the first video night for the experimental video class. We had a pretty good turn out, more than what I expected. It was pretty fun to watch the videos on the big screen with the loud speakers. The one disapointment is that the teacher, darek, edited some of our videos! He cut one of mine in half and took out a line of dialouge(which he deemed raceist) in another video of mine. He cut in half two other videos (which weren't mine). Other than that it was fun. We served pizza and popcorn. I dipped my pizza in the popcorn and had popcorn pizza. It was pretty good.

Friday. After class and my friday routine I went to the clothing store to talk to the girl. I entered the store and saw her standing behind the counter talking to some guy in a black leather jacket and long straggly black hair. He looked like the lead singer to the ramones. I entered the store and she turned and saw me,
"Hey there again." She said.
I said hi and she continued her attention to me. So I asked her what I wanted to ask. "There was something I wanted to ask you last week but I forgot."
She thinks back to last week.
" Remember I bought the black shorts."
"Yeah I remember."
"I was wondering if you would you want to do something sometime?"
The black leather jacket guy drifted away but stayed close. She looks down and gets quite. She looks at me and says, "I'm actually seeing someone right now."
"Oh, ok."
"But, if you want we could still hang out as friends."
"Ok, yeah."
She gets a piece of paper.
" Here's my numbers."
I take my wallet out and reach for my already written cell number.
" I guess that's what your supposed to do in college, is meet people." She says, while squinting her eyes and smiling.
I hand her my little piece of paper with my cell number.
"Ooo, you come prepared."
"Alright, I guess I'll see you later."
"Yeah, bye."

Just when I thought I was going to meet someone new she ends up having a boyfriend. Dang. Well she did she would want to still hang out. I'm hoping she's not just saying that though. I siad to Ryan that I should call her the next day and ask if she's broken up with her boyfriend yet, and when you do call me. He laughed. I wouldn't do that, that would not be very nice. Maybe there's still a chance. She did give me her phone number and said she still would like to hang out as friends. If I do call her, I will probably ask her if I'm doing something with some of my other friends. I might be a bit akward if it was just her and me, espically since she has a boyfriend. I'll probably wait a couple weeks to call and to go back to the store. I don't want to go back next week, she might think I'm some weird stocker person. I also don't want her to think that I want to completely ignore her. I guess it ended 50/50. I didn't get a date with her but she did say she still wanted to hang out sometime.

After that I of course had to go to my okcupid account, I havn't been there for a couple of weeks, and someone that I had interest in but hadn't logged in since like last year looked at my profile. Gesh, life is complicated.